Let it Rain

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJul 4, 2019

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Trump has got everybody working over time for a big party that he is throwing for himself on America’s birthday and so far a lot has gone wrong. The weather man is predicting rain. It could literally rain on Trump’s parade.

Nobody wants to go to his party. Staffers can’t give the tickets away. They’re to the point that they’ll give them to anybody, ANYBODY who will show up. Trump is freaking out, worried that the turn out will be as dismal as his inauguration.

ABC, CBS, NBC and MSNBC will not air the spectacle.

The Blue Angels and the stealth bomber could cancel their fly over due to possible rain.

His kids will be in the Hamptons.

Veterans are calling Trump out in a Fourth of July video, saying they feel deeply betrayed. They are calling for impeachment.

Nobody knows how much Trump’s Salute to Trump is costing us because the White House won’t say. Trump says its worth every penny.

The Pentagon has given the exploited troops printed talking points for when they’re asked to comment about the celebration. Stuff like, “I am proud of my job and my vehicle/tank………I am glad to share my experience with the American people……..I am proud to honor the nation and the armed forces during this Independence Day celebration.”

That fucker is going to make a Salute to Trump speech in the same spot that MLK made his I Have a Dream speech.

Trump thought he’d be able to woo big donors and political ass kissers with VIP tickets. Anybody who would show up to this and risk getting their pictures taken for posterity is shooting themselves in the face.

“How on earth did the RNC get put in charge of handing out tickets to President Trumps July 4th event, which is funded by the federal government and the US military?” — John Marshall

Trump says he is going to defy the Supreme Court on the citizenship question on the census. He basically told the Supreme Court to go fuck themselves in a tweet, taking the Department of Justice by surprise.

Trump probably tweeted his plan to “over rule” the Supreme Court because Lawrence O’Donnell said Trump admitted defeat. He sure showed Lawrence.

Trump’s response to the public outcry about him imprisoning children? If you don’t want your kids locked up then don’t come here. He also said they’re getting better treatment in his detention centers than they did back home. Rush Limbaugh concurs. He said that drinking from toilets is a step up for those migrants.

Congressman Justin Amash announced this morning that he is leaving the Republican party.

“45% of American adults want Trump impeached and removed from office, according to Gallup. To compare, no more than 35% of adults ever wanted to impeach Clinton. Support for impeaching Nixon hit 46% only in April 1974 — just months before he resigned.” — Kyle Griffin

896 days of this shit.

Trump has turned America’s 243rd birthday into a celebration of himself with tanks in the capital and refugees in concentration camps. There’s a word for this, and it’s not democracy.

Politicians are tweeting, “God Bless America.”

America is hoping that Russian hookers will pee on his parade.

Let it rain.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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