Let It Roll

Look over there! It’s Hunter Biden (“according to people familiar with the case”). It appears that federal agents believe they have enough evidence to charge Hunter Biden with tax and gun purchase crimes during his druggie days, and what do you know…….it’s just in time for the midterms.

Speaking of Biden and drugs — hours after the “news” broke about Hunter Biden’s drug crimes, President Biden announced that he is pardoning everybody who has a federal conviction for simple federal marijuana possession offenses. People who have that on their record will get that removed. These unlucky people have a really hard time finding jobs and housing and they can’t vote. They’re branded for life for getting caught doing something that an awful lot of people do and it’s no problem for society. Biden says it’s time to stop this, and he urged governors to do the same for state offenses. This will immediately change the lives of 6,500 people plus thousands more in DC. Biden also wants to have marijuana reclassified. Right now it’s scheduled alongside heroin and fentanyl which is like saying a zit is the same as melanoma. “Sending people to jail for possessing marijuana has upended too many lives — for conduct that is legal in many states. That’s before you address the clear racial disparities around prosecution and conviction. Today, we begin to right these wrongs.” White people smoke pot at the same rate as people of color do, but if they get caught they don’t go to jail like POCs do. Pot has been unofficially legal for white people for decades. Especially rich and good looking ones.

Release the pot heads and make room in the jails for all the insurrectionists, domestic terrorists, Republicans and members of the Trump administration that are headed that way!

Biden is headed for having one of the most substantive first terms in modern presidential history. People who want to see more of this better get their butts to the polls on November 8 and vote for Democrats.

Governor Newsom of California is a few weeks ahead of Biden. He signed 10 marijuana bills written to build an equitable, safe and sustainable legal cannabis industry and to make it easier and more enjoyable for Californians to smoke their pot. He signed a bill to seal minor marijuana convictions. He also signed bills that make it possible for cannabis producers and sellers to do business with other states where pot is legal. Employers can no longer drug test people for pot if it’s consumed on their own time and not on the job. There are exceptions for jobs like construction where somebody could hammer a nail through their thumb if they got too hammered the night before, or if they work for the feds (but hopefully not for long!) Employers can’t discriminate against potheads and potheads can’t get fired unless they get stoned at work. Veterinarians are now free to recommend cannabis products. Communities can’t gang up on dispensaries by not letting them make deliveries (yes, you can order your pot online and have it delivered to you like a pizza in California). On top of that, the tax revenue generated from legalizing cannabis is huge. It pays to legalize pot. Gavin Newsom is one cool governor. He even took some of his own campaign funds and had billboards put up in red states letting women know that if they need an abortion they can come to California. That’s not all. Because gas prices have been so high, 23 million Californians will start seeing $350-$1050 in their bank accounts starting today (through January) to help take the edge off of inflation. Individual taxpayers will get $350. Parents will get an extra $350 if they have any dependents (maximum rebate $1,050.) Republicans call this a handout. It’s a REBATE. The taxes have already been paid. This will be the largest state tax rebate in the country. Newsom is giving some of it back so Californians won’t be as stressed out going to work after spending $100 to fill their tanks to make money so they can pay their taxes. On top of that, they can look forward to kicking back after their commute at the end of the day, and smoking a fatty without being worried about getting drug tested by their boss.

A judge declared that what Postmaster General Louis DeJoy did 2 years ago (removing mail boxes and destroying mail sorting machines to fuck up mail in voting to help Trump win) was illegal so he can’t pull that crap again this year.

Republican Senator Ben Sasse, the guy who loved to take time to lecture Republicans about being immature and partisan before voting right along with them, is resigning and leaving his state to be president of University of Florida. He was re-elected in 2020 and is calling it quits. The Governor of Nebraska will get to pick his replacement. The Republican running now is Jim Pillen and he, like so many Republican candidates across the country, refuses to debate the Democratic challenger. He’s getting away with it because debating is not mandatory and Republicans win in Nebraska without even trying. There are only 1.9 million people who live in Nebraska and 88% of them are white so you know what that means. They could use a big fatty.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.