Lipstick on a Pig

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 27, 2023

Marjorie Taylor Greene is making news again. This time because she wants to be Trump’s running mate in 2024. That explains why she started wearing lipstick. Most people thought it was because she’s newly divorced and on the prowl, trying to impress Kevin McCarthy so he’d give her committee assignments. She just wants to be vice president. You know what they say about putting lipstick on a pig……

She’s out there trying to rehash her image. She says the QAnon thing was just a phase. She realizes now that she got sucked in by the internet. She got a makeover. Makeup! Lipstick, please!

The woman was so out there in Q-Land she got kicked off Twitter for spreading conspiracy theories. She got kicked off all of her committees too. After getting re-elected all she had to do was put on a little lipstick and whaddayaknow, she’s running the House of Representatives! She’s taking selfies with the Speaker-in-name only, Kevin McCarthy! She’s back on committees! She’s been normalized. Marjorie Taylor Greene is the made up face of mainstream conservatism.

After Twitter reinstated one of her accounts, she picked up right where she left off, tweeting about COVID, bragging about not being vaccinated, bashing Dr Fauci and Nancy Pelosi, defending Trump and “political prisoners.” She tweeted: Bring back President Trump. Bring back my personal account. Bring back Dr. Robert Malone. Bring back Alex Jones. Bring back Milo Yiannopoulos. Bring back the cancelled nation. Bring back freedom of speech. Bring back America!

After having so much free time on her hands for two years without committee assignments you’d think she’d have time to learn how Congress works but nope, she’s as dumb as ever. She said that Kevin McCarthy gave HER the power to fire 87,000 IRS agents and that he agreed to fire Merrick Garland and abolish the FBI and DOJ or at the very least defund it so it can’t pay Jack Smith to investigate Trump which is impossible. She plans on investigating Joe Biden “nonstop” and then she is going to impeach him. The new rules say anybody can put amendments up for a vote anytime they want so Miss Piggy put on some lipstick and took to the floor to put forth her amendment which would keep Biden from selling US oil. The amendment failed 14 to 418.

Her name comes up in depositions that the Select Committee made public. She was on Air Force One before anybody even knew who she was. She attended meetings inside the White House with other members of Congress to plan the insurrection. She shot a video of herself the day before the insurrection saying Trump won and tomorrow they were going to do something about it. She and Ted Cruz lobbied Georgia US Senator Kelly Loeffler to go along with the fake electors plan and object to Georgia’s electors for Biden. While traveling with Trump to Georgia after the election she said, “I think our secretary of state has failed Georgia. I believe our elections should be decertified.” When asked if that would impact her election too she said, “We’re just talking about the President’s race.” She asked for a pardon after being in Congress for 3 days. She really got around as a newbie without lipstick. So much so that she’ll end up in jail where lipstick won’t make a difference.

Here are some Marjorie Taylor Greene fun facts:

MTG authored a bill to cut Dr Fauci’s salary to $0.

MTG bragged about winning with 74.7% of the vote on her first try. She ran unopposed.

MTG represents Cobb County Georgia. Trump lost that county but she won and she still claimed election fraud.

MTG lived in a blue district but since she would have had to run against Lucy McBath she bought a house in a poor red district that is 85% white because she’s a millionaire and can do that.

MTG didn’t read the Green New Deal but challenged AOC to a debate about it anyway.

MTG blamed Urkaine being invaded on Ukraine. While Ukrainians were fighting for their lives, each other and their country, she spoke at a Putin worshipping white nationalist conference in Florida.

MTG was picked up on camera being extremely rude while she was supposed to be listening to the Ukrainian president speak to Congress via teleconference. She made a video rebuttal to Zelensky’s speech praising Putin. When a reporter asked her about it outside of the Capitol she snapped at him while chomping on a piece of gum.

MTG crashed a press event on the steps of the Capitol to heckle Democratic women speaking on women’s rights. Her chief of staff resigned.

MTG referred to Congresswoman Marie Newman’s transgender daughter as “Marie Newperson.”

MTG blamed California wildfires on Jewish space lasers.

MTG has called for the execution of Democrats.

MTG used $450,000 of the PPP money she got for her business that she inherited from her father for her campaign.

MTG fundraised off of Democrats trying to get rid of her using Ilhan Omar’s face in an Islamophobic ad.

MTG’s bid for reelection had to be decided by a judge. Matt Gaetz showed up to show his support wearing a bullet proof vest.

MTG and Matt Gaetz call the insurrectionists who were arrested and jailed for attacking the Capitol “political prisoners.”

MTG and Paul Gosar wanted to start a whites only caucus. The GOP is a whites only caucus.

MTG said members of Congress should be considered successful by how many programs they end, not by the numbers of bills they pass.

MTG said, “I trust government even less now that I’m in it.”

MTG said, “I know a ton of white people that are as lazy and sorry and probably worse than black people.”

It’s not easy being Greene. Or Miss Piggy. Makeup!

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.