Lone Some Dove

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 1, 2020
The US Homing Pigeon looking pretty lonely in a gazillion degree heat on asphalt in front of loaned doves

Dozens of white people showed up without masks, standing shoulder to shoulder, to admire Trump on a tarmac in Florida, the state with the second highest number of coronavirus cases. There was one lone guy with an electric floor fan and an extension cord way in the back. Trump addressed his cult followers without focusing much on the pandemic. He threatened “chaos and bloodshed” if Joe Biden wins. That freaked the loaned doves out. He may as well have said that liberals were running a pedophile sex ring out of a pizza parlor. The lone guy in the back isn’t worried. He’s got a fan.

40% of teachers in Florida say they will retire early or quit teaching altogether rather than teach during the pandemic.

Trump keeps repeating over and over that we have more cases because we test more people. Testing. Testing. 1,2,3.

“We have more cases because you golfed and held rallies for two months and refused to take it seriously until it was too late and then you made governors compete for scarce resources and then you pressured them to open up too early. you screwed up and everyone knows it, bro.” — Jeff Tiedrich

Vanity Fair published a piece about the Trump administration blowing off a national testing policy because the early cases were predominantly in blue states which they saw that as good for them politically so they decided to exploit the crisis and let states fend for themselves so they could blame the Democratic governors. Trump said that the sick and dying weren’t “his voters.”

A mom and dad in Houston died from the coronavirus 15 days apart, leaving behind 2 young sons. A Tennessee pastor tested positive 1 week after he attended an event with Trump at the White House. These aren’t lone cases. They’re common.

Louie Gohmert tweeted: I am taking hydroxychloroquine to treat my coronavirus diagnosis. It is what was decided as the best course of action between my doctor and me — not by government bureaucrats. How long until the tech tyrants censor this tweet?

News flash! Louie Gohmert thinks healthcare decisions should be determined by a patient and his doctor, not the government, because this time it’s about his health and not a sexually active woman.

Trump says he plans to sign a “very inclusive” health care plan “very soon” AGAIN.

Remember when the lone lunatic said that he alone could fix it?

Trump says he’s going to ban TikTok by executive order.

Twitter permanently banned David Duke, the former KKK grand wizard, but not Trump. The lone lunatic still tweets.

He lives. He breathes. He tweets. The lone lunatic lives, breathes, tweets, golfs, eats, yells, and watches TV. That’s it. That’s all he does.

Trump tweeted that he beat Obama 4 years ago and wow, that was really something because Obama worked even harder than Crooked Hillary. Look at me! Looke at me! I beat Obama!

A lone white guy was quietly and respectfully arrested by NYPD after he got busted for pouring paint all over the Black Lives Matter mural on the street in front of Trump Tower and smearing it with his hands while on his knees. Trump’s Secret Police weren’t called out to slam him to the ground, taser, choke or shoot him because he was white and so was the paint. Tucker Carlson should have him on his show any day now.

A Blue Lives Matter group in New York want their own street mural similar to Black Lives Matter.

The rent is due today.

Now that lone patriot, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman is retired, he has written an op-ed in which he says, “At no point in my career or life have I felt our nation’s values under greater threat and in more peril than at this moment.”

94 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.