Looking Bad

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 22, 2021

AOC has now raised over $5 million for Texas. She thanked everybody for pitching in on Twitter and said, “Charity can’t replace policy, but solidarity is how we’ll face climate change and build a better world.”

AOC is so good.

Anti-government Texans will not refuse AOC’s charity and will go on bashing AOC.

AOC used her power and influence to help Texans, even the many Texans who bash her. She is modeling decent human values: This is how it’s done. MAGAs are criticizing her and saying she’s only doing it to make Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott look bad. Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott don’t need anybody to make them look bad. They’ve done a very good job of that by themselves. MAGAs make America look bad. Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott help MAGAs look bad because they stay loyal.

Larry Kudlow, Trump’s former director of the National Economic Council, blames the power outages in Texas on Joe Biden. Bad look, Larry. Larry Kudlow always looks bad because he’s always drunk. There’s nothing more gross than a drunken Republican consumed with hatred and greed.

Protesters showed up at Ted Cruz’s house, complete with a mariachi band, to call him out for fucking them over. Fucking people over is a bad look, Ted. Too bad you only have an intern and an iPhone to change your image, staging photos of you trying to look good, like AOC.

Ted Cruz is an asshole fun fact: Ted Cruz’s communications director resigned in disgust a week after the insurrection. She refused to help Ted with his “Stop the Steal” messaging so she quit. He’s that bad.

Ted’s wife, Heidi Cruz, is not a Houston housewife. She is a managing director at Goldman Sachs which has a controlling interest in several Texas energy utilities. She used to serve in the Bush White House. Heidi is more ambitious than Ted Cruz. How do we know? She married Ted Cruz. Oops! My bad.

Ted Cruz could never pull of the bad boy. That’s why he got into politics.

The family of the 11 year old boy in Texas who froze to death as a result of the winter deep freeze is suing ERCOT for $100 Million in damages for gross negligence.

41 year old Jackie Nguyen lost all 3 of her kids and her mom (a refugee from Vietnam) in a house fire in Houston. The family had no power and was trying to stay warm with their fireplace.

Texas never prepared for freezing weather because Republicans. The US has refused to prepare for climate change because Republicans.

Republicans are bad. BAD.

What happened in Texas last week was a preventable infrastructure catastrophe caused by anti-government greedy capitalism. Now the federal government is bailing Texas out and the anti-government MAGAs who haven’t showered in a week will still yell at the federal government because it makes them feel like bad asses. Because we’re bad, we’re bad. Doot doot doot de doot, oh ya we’re bad. We’re bad.

Dominion Voting Systems has filed a $1.3 billion lawsuit against Mike Lindell, the My Pillow guy for defamation. He made his own YouTube documentary PROVING that Trump was the real winner of the 2020 presidential election. Too bad, My Pillow Guy. It’s just you and your pillow now.

Jessica Watkins, one of the 9 Oath Keepers who got busted for trying to overthrow the government, had VIP clearance for Trump’s Stop the Steal rally and did security which means she was coordinating with Trump’s campaign and the Secret Service. She escorted the mob to the Capitol. The Oath Keepers weren’t just there. They were hired by Trump to do security.

Turns out Nancy Pelosi called the National Guard during the attack on the Capitol. Not Trump. Not Pence. The third in line did it which means the first two didn’t want to…….

Republican Steve Scalise still won’t say Biden legitimately won the election and as far as the attack on the Capitol goes, there is plenty of blame to go around so don’t blame Trump. Democrats are just as bad.

Mike Pence declined an invitation to speak at CPAC. Mike Pence hasn’t gotten out of bed since the inauguration. He feels bad that after 4 years of loyalty, Trump still hasn’t called.

Susan Collins will vote no on Neera Tanden because she’s “too divisive.”

Fun fact: Neera called Susan Collins “the worst” on Twitter. Neera Collins is a bad ass and was right. Susan Collins voted to approve Brett Kavanaugh and acquit Trump the first time. She is the worst.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.