Looking Stupid, Especially in Texas

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 4, 2021
If you’re a Republican, anybody can grow up to be a member of congress or even president!

Idiot Americans are refusing to get the vaccine so Biden is considering sending their share to countries that are literally dying to get them. The people left who haven’t gotten the vaccine are anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, and people who are so broke that they fear there is some sort of cost because nothing is free in America when it comes to medical care or they’re worried about missing work because of the side effects. They can’t afford to take a day off from work if they feel shitty because they have a shitty job and get shitty pay.

The rest of the civilized world thought Americans were pretty awful for not wanting their fellow Americans to have affordable health care 10 years ago when Obamacare started taking effect. Then they watched in horror as Americans elected Trump who spent 4 years destroying the greatest country on earth and now they can’t get over how millions of people are refusing to get vaccinated. America is stupid.

Biden’s goal is to have 70% of the country vaccinated by July 4 to reach herd immunity. All of the states that voted for Biden are on track to meet that goal. The states that voted for Trump are not even close.

The bad seed in the Bush family has hit the GQP scene — Jeb’s son George P. He’s going to challenge Ken Paxton for his seat as the Trumplican candidate for attorney general in Texas. He doesn’t care how horribly Trump has treated his family. He sees this as a big opportunity for himself and he’s going to take it. At a campaign event he handed out beer koozies with a quote by Donald J. Trump printed on them: “This is the only Bush who likes me!” His campaign video does not mention the 2 former presidents, his grandfather and his uncle. It doesn’t mention his dad, the former governor of Florida. But it does pay tribute to Trump, putting an end to the Bush’s compassionate conservatism brand.

Texas. Texas. Texas. How much more awful can Texas get? 275,000 youth of color turn 18 every year in Texas so they’ve got to keep them from voting because that’s a whole lotta people who won’t be voting for homophobic, sexist, white supremacists so Republicans are frantically passing Jim Crow laws in the middle of the night.

Texas doesn’t see the next generation as the future. A pregnant 13 year old who was raped by her grandfather had to go across state lines to get an abortion because she lives in Texas. Republicans have fixed it so that children must give birth to more children that will be born with genetic mutations without any support whatsoever. Keep them down and out and they will give up on everything including voting.

Speaking of teenagers and abortion in Texas, on the day of her graduation, Lake Highlands High School valedictorian Paxton Smith threw out her pre-approved speech to use her platform to speak up for abortion rights. Smith called out the “heartbeat bill,” a law passed by Governor Greg Abbott last month which prohibits abortions after six weeks, even in the case of rape or incest. “I am terrified that if I am raped, then my hopes and aspirations and dreams and efforts for my future will no longer matter…..I hope that you can feel how gut-wrenching that is, I hope that you can feel how dehumanizing it is, to have the autonomy over your own body taken from you.”

Rudy Giuliani, the once great “America’s Mayor” is so broke he’s doing My Pillow ads during a YouTube video on UFOs because Trump hasn’t paid him and no one else will hire him.

Junior is so hard up for cash he’s selling videos of himself for $525 to $787. DMs are only $19.99.

The latest on Matt Gaetz: The feds are going to get him for obstruction of justice because he called the victim and told her what to say to the feds.

Trump’s postmaster Louis DeJoy is under federal investigation for an illegal campaign donation scheme using his employees. Over 100 employees donated $1 million to Republican candidates, including Trump. He had his employees make the donations in exchange for bonuses. He’s still running the US Postal Service.

Trump’s former White House counsel, Don McGahn, will testify before the House Judiciary Committee today behind closed doors after refusing to comply for 2 years. He said he was too high up and important to have to testify (he’s not too important to testify — John Dean held the same position for Nixon, went to jail for him, was disbarred and says Trump is way worse than Nixon.) He’ll have to answer questions about Russia and Trump telling him to fire Bob Mueller, but he won’t have to answer any questions about the many other scandals that happened while he was there.

America is stupid. Especially in Texas.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.