Losing My Religion

Spike Dolomite
3 min readAug 10, 2020

Trump wants to know how he can get his face carved into the mountain alongside the other presidents on Mount Rushmore. No, seriously. The White House actually contacted the governor of South Dakota and asked how to go about doing it.

Bill Barr did a live interview in which he said that Democrats are now the “Rousseauian Revolutionary Party that believes in tearing down the system….. They’re not interested in compromise. They’re not interested in a dialectic exchange of views. They’re interested in total victory…It’s a substitute for religion.”

Speaking of government being a substitute for religion, Trump’s court jester, Peter Navarro, says that the Lord created executive orders.

Trump’s executive orders will be on display alongside his tweets and porno in his presidential library which will be housed inside an abandoned gas station.

Trump didn’t go to church yesterday. He golfed. That’s his religion.

Is it a problem for the evangelicals who support Trump that he doesn’t go to church? Hell no. They don’t go either.

Do the Republicans have a problem with Trump not going to church? God, no. The Christian party is merely a brand. They aren’t any more Christian than he is but at least they show up in church on Sunday from time to time to keep up appearances.

A teacher in Georgia is really scared about schools reopening. “I am planning for 27 students in my tiny classroom. They are not making masks mandatory. My principal is joking to people that this is ‘God’s cleansing plan’.”

The teen in Georgia who got suspended for posting a photo of her high school hallway where kids were packed together without masks is now receiving threats.

A 7 year old little boy has died of the coronavirus in Georgia because the governor is a greedy, Trump butt kissing sadist who cheated to win the election and runs the state like Trump runs the country.

Trump has fixed it so the USPS tracking system is malfunctioning so it can’t track packages. “Service unavailable.”

GOP chair, Ronna McDaniel, is defending Trump for conducting campaign events on taxpayer property. She says if Biden can do online events from his basement then Trump can do it from inside the White House because that’s HIS house.

Trump took a shot at Ben Sasse for taking a shot at him for signing unconstitutional executive orders that would destroy Social Security and Medicare by tweeting: RINO Ben Sasse, who needed my support and endorsement in order to get the Republican nomination for Senate from the GREAT State of Nebraska, has, now that he’s got it (Thank you President T), gone rogue, again. This foolishness plays right into the hands of the Radical Left Dems!

“Trump only wants to get rid of social security and Medicare so he can roll out a program called Social Security and Medicare.” — Frank Giugliano

“The Trump Campaign is underestimating how much people care about Social Security, Medicare, and receiving their mail” — Acyn Torabi

The ACLU has just announced that it is calling for the dismantling of Homeland Security citing nearly 20 years of abuse, waste, and corruption. It was never very effective, but Trump has converted it into the government’s most notable badge of human rights violations shame. Now that it’s being used as Trump’s secret police, it’s time to lose it like the Republicans’ religion.

1 out of 2,000 Americans have died from the Trump Plague. Kids are going back to school with bullet proof hazmat suits and seniors are being sacrificed for the Republican economy.

Republican Jesus is dead.

85 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.