Lost (Dick) in Space
Our day begins with the media obsessively covering Jeff Bezos getting his rocks off by flying into space in a giant wiener shaped rocket as breaking news of urgent human misery, democracy dangling from a cliff, and climate crisis is put off so the celebrity loving media can cover the richest man in the world pleasuring himself while everybody watches. Gross. It’s uniquely perverted American. He’s getting richer in space, too. He got richer than ever off of the pandemic using public roads that he doesn’t pay for and gobbling up profits that could go to giving his employees decent wages, benefits, and bargaining power, but his employees lost their right to unionize in a 2 to 1 vote. He’s bored so we all have to watch that empty forever adolescent boy who doesn’t pay taxes dominate world headlines. Enough already. Dick.
Jeff Bezos made $8.44 billion on his first day of retirement. He made more money by doing nothing for one day than 270,000 of his warehouse workers make in an entire year. His employees pay more in taxes than he does. Under Elizabeth Warren’s wealth tax, he would owe $5 billion AND NEVER EVEN FEEL IT. Dick.
The first MAGA dick defendant has been sentenced for his role in attacking the US government. Paul Hodgkins from Florida made it all the way into the Senate chamber wearing a Trump t-shirt and carrying a Trump flag. The judge went easy on him and only sentenced him with 8 months in prison because the poor guy is so lost. The forever adolescent boy was just trying to get even with all the kids that picked on him in high school.
Covid is up 70% because of dicks like Trump, the GOP, and Fox News. Fox has been focusing 60% of its coverage on pushing out lies about the virus and vaccine but now all of a sudden many of its hosts, including Sean Hannity, are admitting to being vaccinated and suggesting that all of that personal choice that they have been reminding their viewers that they have could be used to getting vaccinated so they don’t get sued. Literally over night the messaging went from don’t let the government tell you what to do to use your personal freedom to do what the government wants you to do. If you want. It’s YOUR choice. You’re not lost. You’ve been able to use those ruby slippers this whole time. See how powerful you are? We told you so! Click your heels 3 times. But only if you want to.
There are no critical care beds available in Arkansas because they’re being hogged by covid idiot dicks taking up space. So now anybody who is in a bad car accident, or has a heart attack, or is shot multiple times with an AR 15, can’t be admitted to the hospital. You’ll be left for dead because your Trump loving, QAnon believing idiot selfish lost in space neighbors refused to get vaccinated.
The White House has been going after Facebook and Fox for disseminating false information about covid. President Biden even said, “They’re killing people.” Instead of looking at this as the fault of Facebook and Fox, one reporter asked Press Secretary Jen Psaki if Biden had thought about giving Trump more credit for the vaccine so that all of those poor lost souls who are transmitting the virus and killing people would be more trusting of the vaccine.
Qevin McCarthy has picked 5 people to be on the select committee to investigate the attack on the Capitol. All 5 are white men, of course, because Qevin McCarthy and the GQP are a bunch of dicks. 3 out of the 5 voted to overturn the election, including the biggest dick of them all, Gym Jordan! Jim Banks and Troy Nehls are the other 2. Nobody has ever heard of them before. Is Liz Cheney going to have to serve on this committee with the dick who she told to his face started it all? No because Nancy Pelosi can veto the dicks. There will be no space on that committee for anyone to investigate themselves.
Newsmax invited Gym Jordan on to talk about being one of the chosen dicks. He said, “We know what this is. This is impeachment Round 3… What are they going to do? The same old thing, go after President Trump.” Um, Trump isn’t the president, you dick.
Roger Stone, the guy who has Tricky Dick tattooed on his back, says the Lord has delivered him 3 times. First when Trump commuted his sentence, the second was when he pardoned him and the third was when he gave Roger the idea not to leave his hotel room on January 6.
Trump doesn’t believe he lost and he’s got people surrounding him reinforcing that. Are they just a bunch of dicks, lost in space? Or is everything going to plan and they’re all a bunch of Nazis?
Trump lost the Republicans the House, Senate, White House, 7 governorships, 4 attorneys general, 4 secretaries of states, and over 400 state legislative seats but they’re more devoted to him than ever. Why? It can’t just be that they’re scared of him or that they’ll be lost without him. It can’t just be that they’re all just a bunch of dicks and need him to lead them, either.
The Republicans in today’s GOP are the bad guys. Don’t underestimate the bad guys. They’re not lost in space. They’re following the same playbook that all of the bad guys throughout history have used. They know what they’re doing.
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