Low Blow

Two pigs and their blanket

Trump says that Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dying wish to have her seat filled after the next president is inaugurated is a Democratic hoax. She never said that. Adam Schiff, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi did.

Speaker Pelosi says she won’t rule out impeaching him again if Biden wins to delay a US Supreme Court vote. “We have arrows in our quiver that I’m not about to discuss right now.”

“We’re going to have to impeach this fucker all over again, aren’t we?” — Jeff Tiedrich

Trump is very serious about contesting the election results and is working very hard, on a daily basis, to normalize that idea.

We have just hit 7 million Americans infected and 200,000 dead from the coronavirus. It’s 100 times worse than the rest of the world and Trump, the Republicans and Fox News are totally cool with it. This is a game to them.

Trump won 9 of the 11 states that have the highest death rates.

You are one million times more likely to catch coronavirus than win the lottery.

Trump has decided to throw money at Puerto Rico to pander to the Latino vote. The money will most likely go to Trump’s development buddies who will get no-bid contracts and then turn around and overcharge, skim and launder. He’s a little late on this one. It won’t bring back the 3,000 people who died because he didn’t do it sooner. He says he’s been the best thing to ever happen to Puerto Rico.

“Trump offering $13 billion in aid to Puerto Rico NOW, is like bringing condoms to a baby shower.”- Chip Franklin

Republican hypocrite fun fact: A red neck Republican state legislator in Kentucky, Robert Goforth, who represents a district where alcohol is illegal in many areas, was indicted for strangling a woman outside of her house with an Ethernet cable and threatening to “hog tie” her with it. He was charged with first degree strangulation, fourth degree assault, and third degree terroristic threatening. The woman’s 3 children were inside the house when he did it. It came out while he was running for election that he had been accused of sexual assault by making a woman give one of his buddies a blow job but MAGAs still voted for him anyway because who among us hasn’t done the same thing? MAGAs not only won’t cast a stone, but they’ll cast a vote for the guy who arranges for blow jobs for his friends. He supported a bill that made it easier to prosecute strangulation as a lower level felony and is running for re-election right now. Blow jobs for everyone!

The majority of the country is disgusted and furious with Trump but he doesn’t need any of their votes to win. He just needs a couple of red neck states. Blow jobs for everybody!

Republicans use words like socialism and tyranny loosely because they know that their voters don’t know what they mean. They just sound bad and everybody else says they’re bad so they must be bad. Blow jobs for everybody!

Hater and conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer won the Republican primary for Congress in her district in Florida because Florida. She’s so awful that Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, PayPal, and other technology platforms banned her for repeatedly sharing hate speech and posting videos of herself blowing QAnon and making scenes in public. MAGAs love the slogan, “I’m the most banned person in history!” Matt Gaetz and Trump endorsed her. Lara Trump is campaigning with her. Laura Loomer insinuated the Parkland and Santa Fe school shootings were hoaxes. She is a self described “proud Islamophobe.” Blow jobs for everybody!

Trump promised Julian Assange a blow job (pardon) if he would help resolve the “ongoing speculation about Russian involvement” in the hacking of Democratic National Committee’s emails leaked during the last election.

Schitt’s Creek went home with all the Emmys last night. Let’s make sure that the Democrats do the same on election night or else we’ll be up up shit creek without a blow job.

43 days until we get to vote.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.