Pandemic pillow talk

Trump started his day yesterday by calling in to Fox to rant about WWII. He said we fought alongside Germany and then he said we didn’t when he talked about Russia. “They also fought World War 2. They lost 50 million people. They were our partner in World War II. Germany was the enemy. And Germany’s like this wonderful thing…now we don’t talk to Russia, we talk to Germany. I mean, look, it’s fine. I want to talk to Germany.”


After ranting on Fox, he tweeted, watched TV, and shoved food in his face just like it was any other day. The day ended in the Garden of Grieve at the White House where he invited Mike Lindell, a former homeless crack addict turned Born Again Christian and entrepreneur (the “My Pillow” guy) to speak at the podium about the Lord. He said, “God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on. God had been taken out of our schools and lives, a nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the word. Read our Bible.” Trump stood next to him, nodding like he was listening, thinking about how he could sell his name to Mike Lindell to rebrand his pillow as a Trump 2020 coronavirus mask. “Here, put this pillow over your face and don’t take it off. Let’s get this thing over with.”

Trump lost his cool again with reporters. When Yamiche Alcindor asked about per capita coronavirus testing in South Korea, Trump said that he knew South Korea better than anybody. Do you know how many people live in Seoul? Do you? Well, DO YOU? 38 million! Wrong. It has 10 million. He called her question snarky. When Jim Acosta used Trump’s own words to demonstrate how he downplayed the virus, Trump got all huffy. He cautioned Americans to remain calm. “I could cause panic, but I don’t want to do that.”

The planted OAN reporter tried to throw abortion into the “press conference” starring a born again Christian who has nothing to do with the coronavirus task force.

Diamond and Silk have weighed in on the death count of the coronavirus. They say the numbers are being inflated to make Trump look bad. Watch Trump invite them to speak at the podium in the Garden of Grieve later on today. And now ladies and gentlemen, my 2 African Americans! The reporter from OAN can ask them about Mexican caravans sneaking across the border with vials of the virus ready to throw at American citizens while they’re out walking their dogs.

When Fox asked Trump about the Chinese misleading the public about the coronavirus his answer was, “They do it and we do it… Every country does that.”

Ainsley Earhardt of Fox News interviewed Governor DeSantis of Florida about the cruise ship docking in Ft. Lauderdale. “A lot of Floridians are really worried about that, because there’s a lot of people infected on the cruise ship.” DeSantis agreed and added, “And not only that, I mean, I think a lot of these are foreigners.”

Speaking of really shitty politicians in Florida, Senator Marco Rubio isn’t blaming foreigners for the spread of the virus, he’s blaming the media for spreading hysteria about the virus: Some in our media can’t contain their glee and delight in reporting that the US has more corona virus cases than China. Beyond being grotesque, it’s bad journalism. We have NO IDEA how many cases China really has but without any doubt its significantly more than why they admit to.

Marco forget to quote the Bible. He does that a lot.

Speaking of someone who uses the Bible to advance their own political agenda, Jerry Falwell, King of the Evangelicals, Trump’s fake Christian coach and president of Liberty University made the kids come back after spring break and now they’re getting sick. When criticized for endangering lives, he says what he always says whenever he’s criticized “they’re attacking us because we’re conservative Christians.”

Melania has decided to suspend her BeBest campaign because it’s stupid.

New York City EMS workers are staying away from home and sleeping in their cars in between shifts so they don’t expose their families to the disease. If doctors and nurses complain about having to re-use masks and not having enough personal protection equipment to protect themselves at work, hospitals could fire them. Nobody wants to upset Trump. He could withhold life saving supplies because HE’S A FUCKING LUNATIC.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.