MAGA Cult

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 16, 2024

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Surprise! Trump won the Iowa caucus. Of course he did. DeSantis and Haley are trailing way behind him. MAGA is a cult. This election is not about politics. His followers literally worship him. This is a religion. The cult followers are too far gone at this point. They’re hopeless and can’t be helped. They will vote for him even if he ends up in jail. It looks as though 110,000 Republicans turned out last night, according to preliminary results from the state GOP. This could turn out to be the lowest GOP turnout since 2000. That can’t be all because of bad weather. It’s because the cult isn’t growing. He still won by a historical margin, but that’s not because he’s the better candidate. It’s because the people who voted for Trump voted for a god. The people who voted for DeSantis and Haley voted for politicians. Trump’s win isn’t about Trump. It’s about citizens in a free society voting their rights and democracy away because the totalitarian they voted for has convinced them of problems and threats that don’t exist that only he can fix, that everybody is out to get him and them, plus he hates the same people they do.

Cult members won’t be struck with reason one day so don’t even hope for it. Most cult members don’t come to their senses and get out. Cults typically end when the leader is either exposed or dies.

The Republican Party has relinquished all of its power over to Trump. That’s not necessarily because they’re all true believers. Some are devout but most aren’t. They’re opportunists that go where the power winds blow. The GOP has no platform, ideas, principles, or policies. It is not a political party anymore. It’s a cult.

So half the country is in a cult. The other half better vote in numbers too big to dispute for democracy is on the ballot. Vote for Biden and all Democrats or else. Forget about candidates not being liberal enough or too liberal, too old or too young. This is no time to be picky or ambivalent. If we don’t vote for democracy, the cult will win — a violent, stupid, racist mob that doesn’t believe in elections or democracy.

Republicans today are either hard core MAGAs or they’re in the cult because they don’t dare do or say anything to be singled out by the cult leader. These guys (and a few token gals) are bunch of unqualified power junkies who either got elected because racists and idiots voted for them or they represent gerrymandered districts where they can’t lose. Now that they’re there, they don’t know what they’re doing and they really don’t want to do the real hard work of governing, so they bully people. They pick fights with the most vulnerable such as transgender people and immigrants, and put all their time and energy into fanning the flames of the culture wars or wasting time and resources on baseless “investigations.” They’re too chicken to fight policy and the constitution with their opponents who are stronger, smarter, and more qualified than they are. None of them can go up against Democrats Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Hakeem Jeffries, Eric Swalwell, Adam Schiff, Katie Porter, Jamie Raskin, Jared Moskowitz, Nancy Pelosi, Ruben Gallego, Barbara Lee, Joe Neguse, Bennie Thompson, Dan Goldman, Jasmine Crockett, and MORE. They don’t stand a chance.

Still, there are Republicans who are getting out. The cult isn’t for them. Even Trump loyalist and election denier, the gun nut southerner Tim Burchett is leaving Congress after 3 terms. He admitted that some of his Republican colleagues have been compromised by Russian operatives who used hookers and drugs to blackmail them to change their votes on legislation. Their membership in the cult is based on extortion.

Attorney Joe Tacopina is getting out. He dropped Trump as a client right before his second defamation trial for E. Jean Carroll. He’s also been working on the criminal campaign finance case in Manhattan where Trump paid porn star Stormy Daniels off. Since Tacopina fancies himself to be a “media personality” who likes being on TV, the kind of coverage these two cases will bring won’t be good for his on air image so he’s calling it quits.

“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” ― Isaac Asimov

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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