MAGA Freaks

Spike Dolomite
3 min readNov 15, 2023
Wanna be tough guy Markwayne Mullin, the MAGA freak who challenged real tough guy, Sean O’Brien, the president of the Teamsters union, to a fight inside the Capitol yesterday shits his pants like everybody else inside the Capitol on January 6

MAGA freak Marjorie Taylor Greene called Darrell Issa a “pussy” for saying she lacked the experience, wisdom, and maturity to impeach anyone after she tried to impeach DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for opening the border to let 6 trillion illegals come in so they could fornicate on Christians’ lawns or something like that.

Kevin McCarthy denies sucker punching Tim Burchett. “If I hit somebody, they would know it. If I kidney punched someone, they would be on the ground.” Kevin McCarthy better stop paying the big bucks for the celebrity haircut if he wants to try and pull off the tough guy look. Tough guys get super cuts.

MAGA freak Jim Comer, chair of the House Oversight Committee who is investigating Hunter Biden and overseeing an impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden, called Democrat Jared Moskowitz a “smurf” during a shouting match between the two. Moskowitz called Comer out for giving money to his brother after accusing Biden of giving money to his brother.

George Santos bottle fed 36 year old MAGA freak Grandma Lauren Boebert’s grandchild on the House floor.

George Santos’s aide pleaded guilty to impersonating Kevin McCarthy’s staffer. Santos should resign and quietly go away but he wants to stick around and bottle feed MAGA freak babies on the House floor.

Hunter Biden filed a motion to subpoena Trump and Bill Barr.

A judge in Michigan said Trump can be on the ballot even though he incited an insurrection.

Trump called for a citizens’ arrest of AG Letitia James and Judge Arthur Engoron.

Trump asked for a mistrial in his civil fraud case. He claims that the judge is biased against him.

Biased against a MAGA freak?

During a House Homeland Security hearing, FBI Director Christopher Wray was asked about a ghost bus by Clay Higgins, a MAGA freak Republican who is a conspiracy theorist. He believes that the FBI put operatives dressed up as MAGA freaks on buses and dropped them off at the Capitol on January 6 to attack the government. Wray told Higgins, “If you are asking whether the violence the Capitol on January 6th was part of some operation orchestrated by operatives or sources, the answer is no.”

Ghost bus or ghostbuster? That is the question, MAGA freaks.

The House passed a stopgap funding measure to keep the federal government open for a couple of months. The deadline to fund the government and avert a shutdown was Friday at midnight. There were 95 MAGA freak Republicans who voted against it. It passed because the Democrats voted for it. More Dems voted for the funding bill than Republicans did. This is a clean continuing resolution that is going straight to the Senate. Looks like the Republicans won’t be ruining Christmas for the entire country this year.

The government will remain open for 2 months and then we’ll have to start this crap all over again. The US government could be in business on a month to month basis until Democrats are elected to fix the MAGA freak mess that Republicans are going to leave us.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.