MAGA Maggots
Trump unofficially unannounced that he’s running for president again over the weekend at a MAGA rally he did in Iowa where he debuted his new slogan, “Make America great again, again.” He thought that up himself. He shared the stage with the governor and 2 of Iowa’s 4 members of Congress. After he endorsed 88 year old Chuck Grassley for re-election to the US Senate, Chuck said the quiet part out loud, like all grandpas have a tendency to do. He admitted that if he didn’t accept an endorsement by the guy who had the support of 91% of the Republican voters in Iowa he wouldn’t be too smart. The governor and 2 Congress members quietly agreed. All of them showed up to grovel before the slimiest, sleaziest, creepiest, nastiest louse in the world — the Orange Long Legged Robber Fly, so he can feel all powerful before his maggot cult followers. To embarrass himself even further, Grandpa Chuck told the crowd of budding shit eating larva that America had the best economy in 50 years on January 20. Since they didn’t have legs to rub together to buzz and clap, Trump had an applause track cued up and cranked it up to 11.
Trump put out a video that endorsed the insurrection, made a martyr out of Ashli Babbitt and said it was time to avenge her death. Look at me! Look at me! I’m Super Fly!
A Capitol Police whistleblower sent a letter to Congress outing 2 senior leaders for mishandling intelligence surrounding the maggot invasion on January 6.
The Federalist Society Supreme Court is all abuzz about its new term. The moment they have been waiting for has finally hatched! Republican Jesus is risen! Clarence Thomas is so giddy he actually asked questions! Out of a thousand requests that court gets a year, it usually takes 60–70. This year the court is going to hear the most contentious issues. It’s going to swat down progress once and for all on gun rights, abortion, and religious freedom. Time for an official state religion to fly.
It really bugs the most conservative justices that the public thinks that they’re partisan. How dare anyone criticize us! We wear the robe! Never mind that the robe has been eaten by venomous, tyrannical moths.
“I’m gonna appoint justices who will overturn Roe v Wade” — Trump
Texas Governor Greg Abbott, a member of the “smaller government” Republican party, has signed an executive governor saying that the government can make businesses serve unvaccinated customers.
Democrat in name only Kyrsten Sinema took more time off from not working for the people and teaching her college class on how to raise lots and lots of money to run the Boston Marathon. Look at me! Look at me! I can fly! I can fly!
The federal government has swatted Millionaire Mosquito Man. Joel Osteen’s blood sucking mega church has to pay back the $4.4 million PPP loan that it took last year.
Mike Pence’s fly died.
Conservative pest Charlie Kirk thinks that school board members who are concerned about MAGA maggots killing them are lady bug wussies. “We all get death threats. It’s disgusting, it’s vile, it’s also part of life. I get death threats. Do I talk about it? No!” He also thinks that Democrats want everybody living in “sexual anarchy.” He’s just jealous because nobody will have sex with him. Not even his wife. She has her own room.
Horsemouth Marjorie Taylor Greene is out there saying and naying that the horse de-wormer MAGA maggots has been using has been used for decades by humans. It even got the Nobel Peace Prize.
There was an old lady who swallowed a horsefly
I don’t know why she swallowed a horsefly
Perhaps she’ll die
Of covid
Oh wait — she’s vaccinated
Unvaccinated former Florida congressman Allen West is in the hospital with covid, ranting about vaccine mandates from his hospital bed. He’s running for governor in Texas against anti-vaccine mandate Greg Abbott. If Allen West doesn’t die from covid, then both Republican candidates will have had covid — one vaccinated and the other one not. Who will Texas MAGA maggots see as tougher? The No-See-Um guy who had it and beat it, or the vaccinated guy who sprayed his own state with DDT by not protecting the public with vaccine mandates and letting people freeze to death during the winter?
Vote them all out. Squish them like the vermin that they are.
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