MAGA See MAGA Do

After tweeting that he was going to stay in DC and maintain law and order Trump golfed anyway at his private course in Virginia. He went yesterday right after the news broke that Putin put a bounty on our troops.

Trump says he doesn’t know anything about Putin putting a bounty on US soldiers’ heads and nobody has been tougher on Russia than me.

Trump is golfing again today with Lindsey Graham. As he pulled into his Virginia club one neighbor walking her dog flipped his motorcade off while another woman held up a sign that read “I ordered Mary’s book.”

Before he left this morning, Trump retweeted a video of seniors fighting at a retirement community in Florida — those who were for Trump were in a parade sitting in decorated golf carts, those who were against Trump were lined up in the parking lot, carrying signs and yelling “Fuck Trump!” The old white MAGAs were whooping and hollering. One yelled out, “White power!” Trump’s comment with his re-tweet was: Thank you to the great people of The Villages. The Radical Left Do Nothing Democrats will Fall in the Fall. Corrupt Joe is shot. See you soon!!!

The tweet went viral in no time so he deleted it. Lindsey probably “suggested” he do it and is spending the rest of the day thinking of what he’ll say to reporters when they ask him about his day with the president.

“On the mean streets of The Villages, gangs of roving golf-cartists rule with an iron fist. No one is safe. Nothing can stop them, except stairs and high curbs.” — Chris Stewart

The Villages retirement community have at least 100 cases of coronavirus.

The US has set a new record of new coronavirus cases in a single day. We’re #1! We’re #1!

The death count of coronavirus in 4 months has surpassed the death count of Alzheimer’s in one year by 6,000.

Tennessee Republican congressman Mark Green saw someone who was wearing a mask while jogging. He was outraged! He blames the media for people over reacting. Mark is a doctor.

One of the founders of “ReOpen Maryland,” the group that put pressure on the governor to end the stay at home order, thought he was having a stroke so he went to the ER. He didn’t have a stroke. He has the coronavirus.

MAGAs of Maryland fun fact: Hundreds of MAGAs called in wanting to know if disinfectants would treat coronavirus after Trump said they would.

A family in Texas blew off social distancing and threw a surprise party. Now 18 of them have the coronavirus. Grandpa is fighting for his life.

Meanwhile over at Fox News, there’s a “law and order” crisis, the Democratic party is overrun by extremists, and what pandemic?

Almost one-third of black Americans personally know someone who has died from the coronavirus.

After AMC Theatres announced that they weren’t going to require people to wear masks after they reopen in July, citing they “don’t want to be pulled into political controversy,” they took it back after people raised hell. Turns out there are more smart movie goers than MAGA movie goers so OK that will be $20 for a ticket and $100 for popcorn and a drink and don’t forget your mask!

Once the vaccine for the coronavirus comes along, will the anti-vaxxers refuse it and rely on herd immunity to survive?

Since the coronavirus started, no caravans have stormed the border to invade us and take our jobs, rape our women, or get us hooked on drugs. Politicians aren’t talking about abortion, transgenders are peeing in peace, and the Democrats haven’t busted down anyone’s door to confiscate anyone’s guns.

Carbon dioxide emissions dropped 17% globally while the whole world was at home avoiding the coronavirus pandemic and now they’re going back up again because humans.

The total coronavirus death toll around the world is half a million. Meanwhile in America, maskless MAGAs are riding around in golf carts yelling about white power and spitting and coughing in everyone’s faces while their leader rides around in his own golf cart on his own golf course, laughing in their faces.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.