Matchbox Twenty
Who are the 20 insurrectionists who are holding Kevin McCarthy, the Republican Party, the House of Representatives, Congress, and the entire country hostage?
Josh Brecheen, Eli Crane, Keith Self, Andy Ogles, and Anna Luna are all newly elected and are probably being bossed around by the 16 other MAGA bullies. They might not even know who Kevin McCarthy is.
Byron Donalds — This is only his second term. He’s from Florida. The Republicans in the House are pulling a “Herschel Walker” by dragging a token Black guy to the front to be Speaker. They swear he’s not a prop. Scott Perry, who is a major player in the attempted coup, nominated him and said they were making history by nominating a Black guy. Donalds is a white Republican with Black skin. He loves both Trump and Ron DeSantis.
Bob Good — This is his second term. He voted to overthrow the government. His district director was part of the MAGA mob that attacked the Capitol.
Matt Rosendale — This is his second term. He voted to overturn the election.
Mary Miller — This is her second term. She’s an out and proud Nazi, famous for praising Hitler during her speech for the “Save the Republic” rally sponsored by the ultra-conservative group, Moms for America at the Capitol two days after she was sworn in and one day before the attack on the Capitol. “Hitler was right on one thing. He said, ‘Whoever has the youth, has the future.’” She served on the House Committee on Education and Labor. She was one of the 147 Republicans who voted to overturn the election.
Lauren Boebert — This is her second term. She accomplished nothing legislatively last year but was very successful in getting a lot of media attention for criticizing and disrupting government. She attended planning meetings before the insurrection and gave a tour of the Capitol. She voted to overturn the election and during the riot, she tweeted out the whereabouts of Nancy Pelosi which got her suspended until after the inauguration. Moments before the Capitol was breached she said, “Madame Speaker, I have constituents outside this building right now.” She’s a gun nut and bragged about showing up on the House floor packing then refused to comply with a new rule requiring everybody to go through newly installed metal detectors inside the Capitol that were put there after the insurrection. She’s a QAnon weirdo. “Everything that I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real, because it only means America is getting stronger and better, and people are returning to conservative values, and that’s what I am for… if this is real, then it could be really great for our country.” The FBI raided her campaign manager’s home. She tweeted “Today is 1776” on the day of attack.
Andrew Clyde — This is his second term. He’s the guy who referred to the attack on the Capitol as a normal tourist visit after being picked up on camera pooping his pants, scared shitless trying to barricade the door when the mob had made it to the House chambers. He voted no on giving police officers gold medals for protecting him when the mob almost literally killed him and he refused to shake Officer Michael Fanone’s hand when he introduced himself as one of the officers who defended him. He voted to overturn the election. He has been fined over $100,000 for not going through metal detectors.
Dan Bishop — This is his third term. He’s a Trump backed MAGA who signed on to a letter by election-denying Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton that said that the presidential election was illegitimate (Paxton was at the Stop the Steal rally and tried to get the Supreme Court to overturn the elections in Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin). 126 Republicans signed Paxton’s letter (2/3 of the Republican caucus). Dan Bishop also voted to overturn the election.
Chip Roy — This is his third term. He texted with Mark Meadows 100 times about replacing electors for “the highest good.” He asked for direction and talking points from the White House about what they wanted him to say publicly.
Michael Cloud — This is his third term. He voted no on giving police officers gold medals, he voted to overturn the election, and he signed on to Ken Paxton’s letter.
Matt Gaetz — This is only his third term but he’s famous. He’s famous for being a loud mouth asshole who blocks and sabotages EVERYTHING with fake outrage for no real reason other than he wants to get on camera. He’s a spoiled brat rich kid who never grew up. He’s one of Trump’s biggest butt kissers. His closest friends in Congress are Jim Jordan, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Lauren Boebert. His outrage towards Kevin McCarthy is more for show than anything else. He’s the face of the Never Kevins and that’s all he really cares about. He signed on to the Ken Paxton letter and voted to overturn the election. He held a press conference with Louie Gohmert, Paul Gosar and Marjorie Taylor Greene in front of the Justice Department to discuss the “treatment of January 6th prisoners.” Insurrectionists are political prisoners in their view. He attended the December 21 meeting with other members of Congress to discuss the insurrection. He attended Marjorie Taylor Greene’s hearing where it was to be decided if she could run for re-election since she was part of an insurrection. He wore a bullet proof vest. He asked Trump for a blanket pre-emptive pardon because he was involved in multiple crimes. He voted for Trump as Speaker for the seventh vote on the third day.
Andy Harris — He was at the meeting on December 21 with other Republican members of Congress to discuss John Eastman’s plan for Mike Pence to call the election for Trump, he signed on to Ken Paxton’s letter and voted against certifying the election. He voted no on giving officers gold medals for protecting the Capitol on January 6, and he tried to bring a gun into the chamber.
Ralph Norman — He voted to overturn the election and signed on to Ken Paxton’s letter, he texted Mark Meadows before the attack on the Capitol calling for martial law, and he voted against honoring the police who protected them. He says they have a secret candidate to run against Kevin McCarthy who is not a House member. “It will be apparent in the coming weeks who that person will be. I will tell you, it will be interesting.”
Paul Gosar — He’s the most “conservative” member of Congress — a hard core KKK kind of white supremacist (he and Marjorie Taylor Greene wanted to start a whites only caucus but let the idea drop after getting a lot of shit for it.) He speaks at white nationalist and QAnon events. He is so out there with racist hatred that even his own family tried to get people not to vote for him. His 6 siblings ran an ad endorsing his opponent. Trump endorsed him. He was censured and removed from all committee assignments for posting death threats against Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger were the only Republicans who voted yes). This has only happened 24 times in American history. He should have been expelled but that takes a 2/3 vote and there aren’t enough Republicans to denounce death threats against people of color, liberals, and fellow members of Congress. He gave tours of the Capitol before the attack and attended planning meetings with other members of Congress. He promised everybody that Trump would pardon them. He helped plan the Stop the Steal rally. He accused Dominion Voting Systems of switching votes for Biden. Paul Gosar’s chief of staff tried to intercept a plane rumored to be full of fake votes for Biden. Three of his siblings called on Congress to expel him for inciting violence at the Capitol.
Andy Biggs — One of the organizers of the coup and an organizer of the Stop the Steal rally. He refused to cooperate with the Select Committee and was finally subpoenaed but he blew them off. He asked Trump for a pardon and was at the meeting on December 21 with other Republican members of Congress to discuss John Eastman’s plan for Pence to call the election for Trump. He set off metal detectors inside the Capitol after the insurrection, has ties with the Oath Keepers, voted no on giving officers who saved his life a gold medal, gave tours of the Capitol before the insurrection, and won re-election after a judge said he could be on the ballot even though he was part of the insurrection. He signed on to Ken Paxton’s demand to overturn the presidential election and voted against certifying the election.
Scott Perry –Scott is one of the top leaders of the insurrection. He is figured prominently in the Select Committee’s executive summary of their final report. He was the first member of Congress that the committee subpoenaed and he refused to cooperate. He communicated regularly with Mark Meadows in secret using encryptions and burner phones. He attended the planning meeting on December 21. He is responsible for bringing Jeff Clark in to be Trump’s attorney general at the midnight hour. He signed on to Ken Paxton’s letter and voted to overturn the election. After meeting with Mark Meadows in his office, Mark would burn documents in his fireplace. The FBI seized Scott Perry’s phone. He asked Trump for a pardon.
