Mean Tweets and Spam

Spike Dolomite
5 min readMar 6, 2021

Today is the 46th day for the 46th president. Joe Biden has a 60% job approval rating and is successfully staying out of all of the Republiqan bullshit.

The Republiqans are doing everything they can to delay covid relief. They oppose sending people who are teetering on the brink of the Trump Plague any relief. They don’t want to send them any of their tax money back or extend unemployment benefits because that will reinforce laziness and besides, it’s not the government’s job to bail people out even though the government put them in this dire situation in the first place. The amount of money, $1.9 trillion, that the Democrats and president want to invest in the country with the covid relief bill is the exact same amount of money that the Republiqans passed in their bill in 2017 that made it so the rich don’t pay any taxes at all.

The big hang up yesterday was whether or not to give workers a raise as part of the covid recovery plan. Democrats and the president want to increase the minimum wage to $15 but all of the Republiqans said no way and so did 8 Democrats: Joe Manchin, Angus King, Tom Carper, Chris Coons, John Tester, Maggie Hassan, Jeanne Shaheen, and Kyrsten Sinema who stole the show by putting on a show for the CSPAN cameras by prancing into the Senate chambers wearing a middle school uniform and $800 boots, then tapping Mitch McConnell on the back to make sure he watches her, and then bouncing over to the clerk to give the famous John McCain thumbs down with a curtsy. She had brought cake into the chambers earlier in the day to pass around. This was Kyrsten Sinema’s “Let them eat cake” moment. Everybody is pissed at her right now. Not only because she made a mockery of the process, the Senate, and John McCain’s thumb, but because she just made it exponentially easier for a Republiqan to take her seat when she runs again in 3 years. She deleted her Venmo account because so many pissed off people sent her $15 requests for voting no on the $15 an hour minimum wage. The minimum wage in Arizona is already $12/hour so this was all for show. She was gleeful, giddy, and cutesy-glamorous when she voted, like a school girl. She needs to put more thought into how she can help the people of Arizona survive the Trump disaster instead of what she’s going to wear to work every day. She says she voted no because minimum wage needs to be a separate debate but since she’s a defender of the filibuster a separate debate would be worthless so bottom line is fuck you minimum wage workers, how do I look?

Democrat hypocrite fun fact: On March 11, 2014, Kyrsten Sinema tweeted: A full-time minimum-wage earner makes less than $16k a year. This one’s a no-brainer. Tell Congress to #RaiseTheWage!

Another shitty Arizona lawmaker made the news too. Republiqan Joseph Chaplik stood on the legislative floor and made a little speech about nobody being forced to wear masks back in the 80s when AIDS was a thing.

Why is Mitch McConnell trying to get the Kentucky legislature to fix it so the Democratic governor can’t fill his seat if he doesn’t make it full term? Is there a health issue that he is keeping secret that will keep him from serving for 6 more years? Is he in some sort of legal trouble and could end up in jail? Or is he planning on resigning to spend more time with his family?

Big fat middle aged MAGA Baptist preacher in Missouri, Stewart Allen Clark, is telling women in his congregation to lose weight and look more like “the epic trophy wife of all time” plastic surgery addicted Melania Trump to keep their husbands interested in them. With a projected image of Melania on the screen behind him and a Bible in his hand, he told the wives sitting in church on Sunday, “Now look, I’m not saying every woman can be the epic, epic trophy wife of all time like Melania Trump. I’m not saying that at all. Most women can’t be trophy wives, but you know, maybe you’re a participation trophy. I don’t know, but all I can say is not everybody looks like that. Amen! Not everybody looks like that. But you don’t need to look like a butch either. To him, you should look like the most beautiful woman in the room. Don’t give him a reason to be looking around. Don’t let yourself go. I have a friend. He has put a ‘divorce weight’ on his wife — that’s how important this is. One little boy asked, ‘Why do girls wear make-up and perfume?’ Because they’re ugly and they stink. You don’t want to be ugly and stink.”

The Catholic bishops have outdone Pastor Stewart Allen Clark by telling their faithful to not get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine because its derived from dead babies.

Qevin McCarthy, the top Republiqan in the House, mocked the radical left by doing what Doug Emhoff did, only badly. He took video of himself reading a Dr. Seuss children’s book — only he read Green Eggs and Ham to make the point that Republiqans still like Dr. Seuss. Green Eggs and Ham is not going out of print. He should have read one of the 6 books that the Seuss Foundation has deemed inappropriate and dated such as the book about the Chinaman with slanty eyes and the countries that nobody can spell.

Where does Qevin McCarthy find the time to read, “Horton Hears a Q” to nobody when there are so many mean tweets by Democrats and propaganda to get to?

That Q-I-Am! That Q-I-Am! I do not like that That Q-I-Am!
Do you like mean tweets and spam?

I do not like them, Q-I-Am.

I do not like mean tweets and spam.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.