Merry Impeachmess

Spike Dolomite
4 min readDec 7, 2019

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Newt Gingrich is appalled that the Democrats are impeaching Trump during Christmas time. He impeached Clinton while Clinton was lighting the White House Christmas tree, 6 days before Christmas.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: New Gingrich and all of the Clinton hating Republicans who led the impeachment charge against Clinton for lying about having an affair under oath are all either divorced now or remarried. The only one who is still married is Bill Clinton.

The war on our democracy began with the impeachment of Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich started it.

Disgraced Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter who just pled guilty to a felony says he’ll resign after the holidays. He didn’t say after Christmas. He said after the holidays.

The war on Christmas is real and it’s coming from inside the House.

The White House had until 5 pm yesterday to say they’d testify and to no one’s surprise they said no. They’re drilling down on the witch hunt instead. Newt Gingrich is helping by going on Fox News and calling the Democrats a lynch mob that is ruining Christmas.

The Forefathers designed the Constitution to give remedy to a president who didn’t lead but ruled like a tyrant or king. There is a way to get rid of a traitor if he is guilty of treason (giving aid to a foreign enemy which he is doing with Russia,) if he sacrifices the national interest to his own private end (Russia and Ukraine and possibly Saudi Arabia to make money, win an election, and pay back a debt,) if he gets caught for bribery (accepting favor or benefit to influence official action like what he did with Ukraine creating dirt on Biden, plus whatever Putin has got on him,) and high crimes and misdemeanors of which there are many but thankfully the Democrats don’t need them all to make their case. They’re going with the simplest ones so as not to overwhelm the public. They can keep impeaching him after he’s impeached and for history’s sake they should.

Trump is not only guilty of all of the impeachable offenses, but he’s doubling down and doubling his impeachable offenses, right in our faces.

He’s getting crazier right in our faces, too. During a big important meeting with cameras rolling he said that the EPA is looking into toilets at his suggestion. He said this about flushing (with a straight face,) “We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers, and other elements of bathrooms … You turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water … People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times.”

He qualifies for the 25th amendment too but forget it. That would involve Pence and the entire corrupt cabinet so we can’t get him for reason of insanity.

A mass shooting happened at a Navy base in Pensacola, Florida. The shooter was Saudi Arabian. Trump defended Saudi Arabia right away in a tweet: King Salman of Saudi Arabia just called to express his sincere condolences and give his sympathies to the families and friends of the warriors who were killed and wounded in the attack that took place in Pensacola, Florida. The King said that the Saudi people are greatly angered by the barbaric actions of the shooter, and that this person in no way shape or form represents the feelings of the Saudi people who love the American people.

Trump remembered to say thoughts and prayers after the shooting. Good thing since it’s Christmas time.

As Trump led the national Christmas tree lighting ceremony he read the words, “Jesus Christ inspires us to love one another with hearts full of generosity and grace.” He said this on the same day that the news broke that the US Border Patrol tried to cover up another migrant child dying in US custody and after he cut off food security benefits to 700,000 of the most destitute people in our country. He’s letting children die and poor people starve during Christmas time.

Merry Impeachmess.

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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