Michigan Left

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 14, 2023

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It’s Valentine’s Day and America is waking up to the news of another school shooting on the 5 year “anniversary” of the school shooting in Parkland, Florida. Today’s mass shooting was at Michigan State University where a 43 year old man shot 8 students and killed 3, then killed himself. This is the second mass shooting at a Michigan school in two years. Some of the survivors of the Oxford High School shooting attend MSU. This is their second school shooting. Michigan does not require background checks for long guns, nor does it have a red flag law, or take domestic abusers guns away, there are no restrictions on assault weapons or magazine capacity, and anybody who wants to walk around with their guns hanging out can do that. So when that guy walked on to campus the students were sitting ducks. The shooter could take aim and hunt them down and the cops couldn’t do anything about it until AFTER he started shooting people. Now that Michigan has gone blue, thanks in part to the many MSU students who voted for Democrats, plus the end of gerrymandering, plus 150 prominent Republicans came out in support of Gretchen Whitmer’s reelection in November, perhaps Michigan can do something about its gun problem. Women did it with abortion by putting it on the ballot. They won. Abortion is legal in Michigan.

Right now, Michigan is being run efficiently by Democratic women. 33 of the 56 state house members are women, 12 of their 20 state senators are women. State Senator Mallory McMorrow, a white, straight, Christian, suburban mom, called out Republican rival, Senator Lana Theis, on the Senate floor last year for calling her a pedophile in a fundraising appeal. Her speech went viral. Check her out here.

Trump referred to Michigan’s Democratic governor, Gretchen Whitmer as, “That Woman from Michigan.”

When Republicans were in control of the state legislature in Michigan, they made a no debate rule to keep Democrats from participating in democracy. Now that Michigan has turned blue, that rule still stands and now the MAGA repugs are PISSED. This is the first time that Republicans have been the minority in 40 years and they’re freaking out. Freedom caucus member Angela Rigas screamed at the top of her lungs at the podium, like Karen yelling for the manager, demanding a debate. She is a conspiracy theorist who participated in the insurrection. Brad Paquette, an anti-choice, anti-vaxxer who organized a Project Veritas protest screamed too.

Rashida Tlaib served in the Michigan House of Representatives for 6 years before being elected to Congress during the blue wave of 2018 when a record number of women and POCs were voted into office. She is a Muslim of Palestinian decent and Republicans hate her guts. A Muslim AND a woman? She is a member of “The Squad”, a group of progressive women of color who were all elected at the same time — Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar (a Somali refugee Muslim who wears a hijab), Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC for short, campaigned for Bernie Sanders and is of Puerto Rican decent), Ayana Pressley (Black, beautiful, liberal, and bald), and Cori Bush (Black and from the district in Missouri where the Black Lives Matter movement was born). They have all received death threats. Rashida Tlaib has called the Republicans out for endorsing white supremacy every time they don’t condemn attacks and threats on them. She broke down into tears while reading hate mail she received on the House floor, threatening her and celebrating Muslim deaths. She wanted to know why people making threats against her weren’t being charged for domestic terrorism. “How is that not enough? I’m a mother. I want to go home to my two boys.”

One of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s ads for re-election was of her pointing an AR-15 at Rashida, Ilhan and AOC.

Members of Michigan’s infamous militia groups (white supremacist misogynists) are rotting in jail right now for trying to kidnap Governor Whitmer and overthrow the government.

Michigan not so great fun fact: Gerald Ford is from Michigan. He served in Congress before becoming Richard Nixon’s vice president. If he hadn’t pardoned Nixon, Republicans wouldn’t have learned that they are untouchable and can break laws and desecrate the office of the presidency without consequence.

Another Michigan not so great fun fact: The poorest city in Michigan is Flint. General Motors was founded in Flint in 1908 and employed a lot of people. The middle class was really strong with good union jobs until the late 70s when GM cut 90% of its workforce which killed Flint. 8 years ago, the residents of Flint (mostly Black) discovered that their water supply was heavily polluted after the city changed its water supply to a river source which blew out old, corroded lead pipes, leaving people with muddy running water that was unpotable. People got really sick with legionnaires disease and lead poisoning. Kids have permanent brain damage. People died. The governor responsible for the catastrophe at the time, white male Republican Rick Snyder, was charged with 2 counts of willful misconduct. 8 others were charged with crimes from neglect of duty, to perjury, obstruction of justice, and involuntary manslaughter. They all got off on technicalities.

One more Michigan not so great fun fact: Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are from Michigan. Ted Nugent says his home state sucks now and isn’t America anymore. He compared it to California.

Michigan fun fact: Ted Nugent compared Michigan to California.

“I wish they all could be California and Michigan girls” — everybody sing! This way, ladies, to your left.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.