MLK Day for MAGAs

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 20, 2020


It’s Martin Luther King Jr Day. While most people reflect on MLK’s legacy and message of love and equity, gun nuts are lining up on the streets of Richmond, Virginia dressed up as a well organized militia — all white (with the exception of a few token POCs) in camouflage, wearing helmets, bullet proof vests, night vision goggles (in the day time,) shooting earmuffs in case they get lucky and get to shoot somebody and don’t want to hurt their ears, and of course their guns. Lots and lots of guns. Some even came with riot shields. They’re there to protest gun safety laws, intimidate legislators and scare the shit out of everybody because they’re losers in real life. The Proud Boys came. This is a terrorist exercise right out there in the open, in front of the state capitol but they’re getting away with it because they’re white.

How would Fox News cover the footage of these fools marching into Richmond if they were all black? What would Trump tweet?

Martin Luther King Jr was shot and killed by a white man in the south. Southern MAGAs with guns are the worst kind of MAGA there is.

A Qanon chapter meeting took place in what looks like an Applebees or the basement of a pizza parlor in Virginia and they took a group picture (nobody knows what the anon part of their club name means apparently.) A group of patriots who are uncovering our nation’s darkest secrets. Once they uncover everything, they will exonerate Trump, kill all the liberals, take over the world and order an extra order of chickin wings to go.

2 people were killed and 5 wounded in Texas last night because drunk people in a bar got in a fight and the guy with the gun won. Alcohol, Texas and open carry don’t mix but don’t mess with Texas. They can get drunk and shoot people if they want to.

At least 2 people are dead and 15 people injured in another bar fight in Kansas City last night. It’s legal for gun nuts to walk around town with their guns hanging out, just not in restaurants or bars where the owners don’t want them to. It’s not yet known if the owner of this bar said it was OK to drink and carry in their establishment and it wouldn’t matter if they did.

Pinky promise to not drink and shoot? Or stronger gun laws so white guys can’t show up at state capitols waving AR-15s to scare the crap out of everybody or wave their guns around in public while wasted without being put in jail and have their guns taken away for good so they don’t KILL ANYONE!

If 5 year olds are expected to deal with active shooter drills, gun nuts should be expected to deal with background checks, wait periods, and laws that keep crazy people, violent racists and drunks from owning a weapon.

Today is the 3 year anniversary of Donald Trump taking office. The worst president in US history. The worst 3 year period in US history. Americans are a nervous wreck, dumb racists with guns feel all powerful now that they can live openly pledging allegiance to their leader, the world hates us, and the very earth we count on for survival has had it with us.

Trump doesn’t have anything on his schedule to commemorate MLK Day. He’s just going to sit in his room and watch TV coverage of the pro gun rally in Virginia and count how many times MAGAs invoke his name.

For MLK to really realize his dream, a lot more white people have to change. A lot.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.