Mock of Gibraltar

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 6, 2019

“It is finally over, then, the state visit during which US president Donald Trump treated Britain like a Moscow hotel mattress.” — Marina Hyde

After the Beverly Hillbillies stuck their faces in the Buckingham Palace crystal punch bowl to bob for fish and chips, they flew off to Ireland where Trump met with the Prime Minister on the fly. Literally. He met him at the airport for a photo op and quick interview in the VIP lounge where he said Brexit is going well, Ireland needs a wall (OH DEAR GOD NO HE DIDN’T REALLY, DID HE? HE DID) and that he knows millions of Irish people in the states. Then he headed off to promote his Irish golf course, after trying to get the Prime Minister to go with him — you gotta see my golf course!)

Trump is awaiting a decision from the Irish government on a permit to build a sea wall to guard against climate change. Climate change only exists for Trump’s beach front property.

After playing golf at his Irish club, he jaunted off to France where he gave a speech at Normandy to commemorate D Day. He stayed on script! The media praised him for being presidential. He made everybody wait 15 minutes while he did an interview with Laura Ingraham on Fox News first. He had to score some points with the vets back home watching Fox before making everybody cringe as he took the world stage.

About 3% of WWII vets are still alive. They understand what fascism is.

The chair of the RNC, Ronna Romney McDaniel, is trying to brand D Day as Trump Day. Under her leadership she has put Trump campaign workers and friends on the RNC payroll, she has booked lots of fundraising events at Trump owned properties, she has paid for Trump’s legal fees in the Russian interference investigation, and she has hosted Trump’s Fake News Awards. She uses the word “socialism” a lot to scare voters. It’s losing its punch. Farmers who voted for Trump have discovered that they like socialism. It works for them. Get it? Works!

Less than 1% of the US population is involved in fighting our never ending wars that the media never covers.

Trump plans on rebranding the 4th of July. He is planning on making a speech at the Lincoln memorial. If he does that, he will defile and mock the spot where MLK gave his “I have a Dream” speech in the shadow of Abraham Lincoln. That can’t happen.

When asked about why he didn’t serve in Vietnam, Trump said he wouldn’t have wanted to have served because, “Well, I was never a fan of that war. I’ll be honest with you. I thought it was a terrible war, I thought it was very far away……nobody ever…….. you know you’re talking about Vietnam and at that time, nobody had ever heard of the country…….this isn’t like I’m fighting against Nazi Germany, we’re fighting against Hitler. And I was like a lot of people. Now I wasn’t out in the streets marching saying I’m going to move to Canada……” He said all of this a couple of days before he stood in front of the last surviving vets from WWII to give a speech on valor, selflessness and honor.

Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib broke into tears while reading hate mail she received, threatening her and celebrating the Muslim deaths in New Zealand. She asked why a threat like this wasn’t enough to be charged for domestic terrorism. “How is that not enough? I’m a mother. I want to go home to my two boys.”

The editorial board of the New York Times published an op-ed that says Trump doesn’t deserve to be mocked. “There is nothing to celebrate when mockery of the American president in a friendly capital has become the new normal.” He must be mocked and mocked often, while we still can.

“According to today’s ADP jobs report, the economy produced fewer jobs last month than at any time during Obama’s last six years. Trump inherited a turbocharged car. He thinks he built it. He can’t even steer it.” — The Hoarse Whisperer

Democrats are screwing up, comparing impeaching Trump with impeaching Clinton and Nixon. There is nothing remotely similar to impeaching Trump with impeaching Nixon and Clinton. Trump makes Watergate look like a Mormon dance party and Clinton was impeached for lying about a blow job. A blow job! He was impeached by the same party that created Trump, stands by Trump, and sits on their asses protecting Trump. They’re working with Trump who is working with a foreign adversary to destroy democracy. We have no commander in Chief. We have a dysfunctional Congress. That wasn’t the case while Nixon and Clinton were being impeached. The system is failing and the Democrats won’t leave their “politics as usual bubble” to do their constitutional duty.

Mock on.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.