Mom! Trump is Hitting Me!

Spike Dolomite
5 min readAug 19, 2020

Joe Biden was formally nominated and accepted as the Democratic candidate for the president of the United States last night during the second night of the Democratic National Convention. The states all casted their votes from special places within their own states, giving attendants watching at home a snapshot of Americana and a broad view of the beauty of our nation and its diverse cultures. Conventions from now on should do it this way. It was folksy. It was refreshing. It was exciting. It was real. A regular person kicked off the nominations — New York Times elevator operator Jaquelyn Asbie, one of Joe’s buddies, followed by regular every day people including gold star father, Pakistani American Khizr Khan in Virginia, whose son, United States Army Captain Humayun Khan, was killed in the line of duty and who Trump attacked after he and his wife spoke at the last convention, pulling out a copy of the US constitution and asking Trump to read it, Fred Guttenberg whose daughter was murdered in her high school by a mass shooter in Parkland, Florida and the parents of Matthew Shepard in Wyoming. They all, like Joe, know the excruciating pain of losing a child. There is nothing worse. Lindsey Graham’s opponent, Jaime Harrison, who was raised by his grandparents so his single black mother could go to work got to vote for Joe on behalf of South Carolina. Puerto Ricans casted and delivered their vote in Spanish. Rock star speakers filled the night — Stacy Abrams who ran for governor of Georgia but lost because her Republican opponent cheated, apolitical Sally Yates who got fired from being acting Attorney General after she refused to enforce Trump’s Muslim ban, JFK’s daughter, Caroline Kennedy, and his grandson, Jack, Rosalyn and Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton. Republicans Colin Powell and John McCain’s widow, Cindy McCain endorsed Joe. The evening ended with Dr. Jill Biden speaking from inside an ordinary public school. She wants to be America’s mom. We really need her to be our mom.

Mom! Trump is hitting me!

The democratic primary and the DNC are an embarrassment of riches. The Republicans are just rich.

Earlier in the day, Trump blamed the hostility that has taken over the country on Democrats. He tweeted: People forget how divided our Country was under ObamaBiden. The anger and hatred were unbelievable. They shouldn’t be lecturing to us. I’m here, as your President, because of them!

The Senate Intelligence Committee released its 1,000 page final report on the 2016 Russian interference of Trump’s campaign. It was far more damning and extensive than Mueller’s report. It proves that Trump’s campaign coordinated, colluded and conspired with Russia to steal the 2016 election. His campaign chair had direct contact with Russian intelligence. It included a signed fan letter from Trump to Putin from 2007. The Golden showers story is now confirmed. Republicans in the Senate are running from it even though they commissioned it. Marco Rubio, who is on the Intelligence Committee, released a video of himself poo pooing it. There was nothing in that report about him getting a blow job so nothing to see here! Let’s get back to Democrats being Godless socialists who murder their own babies and want to take your guns away.

After enough people raised hell over Trump’s crony and donor, USPS Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, interfering with the election so Trump could win, he backed down a little bit and released a statement saying he is suspending operational changes until after the 2020 election, “To avoid even the appearance of any impact on election mail, I am suspending these initiatives until after the election is concluded.” Trump knows he’s losing. He can’t win if the election isn’t rigged. DeJoy backing down is a small victory because these guys aren’t strategic. They are only reactionary. Backing off is a reaction, a sign that they’re losing their grip. People raised hell and they gave a little. They’re still going to try and cheat, but the people did manage to throw them off and expose their lack of game strategy. Now Congress needs to beat his ass and make him reverse what he did.

The Trump administration is in chaos and so is the Trump campaign. They’re both winging it. Neither has a coherent strategy, a vision, or competent people on either team. They’re cornered. While the Republicans continue to enable both, none of them are willing to show their faces and endorse so the Republican National Convention should be hilarious. They’re scrambling to find anybody who will prostitute themselves and show up for Trump next week. They’re so hard up they’ve asked the teenaged MAGA boy who taunted a Native American elder in Washington DC while on a school field trip to protest women being able to get a safe and legal abortion to speak. He’ll have to compete with Scott Baio for the ideal time slot. Who is Scott Baio?

“How does one even introduce Scott Baio to a millennial audience? ‘You know him from… nothing, here’s Scott Baio.’” — Louis Virtel

Ted Cruz went on Fox and said if the Democrats win we’re going to wake up in January with Elizabeth Warren as Treasury Secretary.

76 days until we get to vote.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.