More Cowbell
The cross examination of Michael Cohen has ended. It’s redirect time. Before he entered the courtroom this morning, Trump said the reason why there aren’t any Trump supporters out front is because the police have streets closed for blocks. He’s never seen anything like it. It’s a disgrace. There were a few Trump supporters out there, though, all members of the Trump crime family: Alan Dershowitz, Bernie Kerik, Kash Patel, Chuck Zito (former leader of the Hell’s Angels), and Jonathan Turley. They tried to do a press conference in their MAGA uniforms — blue suits and red ties, but nobody could hear them because the hecklers were too successful in drowning them out with cowbells and whistles.
We need more cowbell.
The closing arguments in Trump’s criminal trial will begin next week, May 28. Trump’s only hope is if one juror votes not guilty to hang the jury. The evidence tells it all and the state’s case and presentation was flawless. The defense didn’t do as good of a job as they were capable of because Trump bossed them around and it showed. The jury should vote guilty unless a MAGA snuck through to spin a cowpie frisbee during deliberations.
Trump’s red tie herd is admitting in interviews that they’re showing up in court and doing press conferences to say what the judge won’t let Trump say. The jury isn’t supposed to watch the news so they shouldn’t know about the red tie herd but they have to wonder what they were up to when they showed up in court wearing Trump’s clothes.
Rudy has been dodging the subpoena server with the Arizona indictment thinking he had outwitted them all. He posted a selfie at his 80th karaoke birthday party at Kari Lake’s house with the caption: if Arizona authorities can’t find me by tomorrow morning: 1. They must dismiss the indictment; 2. They must concede they can’t count votes. It’s never a good thing to do to post your whereabouts on social media when you’ve got people looking for you. The process server went to the party and hit him with the subpoena after singing “Happy Birthday.”
The probe into the deleted Secret Service text messages before and during the insurrection is now an official criminal investigation. Biden’s dog Major was right to bite those guys.
We need more Major Bidens.
The president of Iran, Ebrahim Raisi, and Iran’s foreign minister, Hossein Amir Abdollahian, were killed in a helicopter crash yesterday, leaving the country without two of its most influential figures after attacking Israel a month ago. Iran’s supreme leader appointed First Vice President Mohammad Mokhber as the country’s acting president.
The International Criminal Court prosecutor is seeking arrest warrants against Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and three Hamas leaders. This is the first time the ICC has sought arrest warrants against a major U.S. ally and it is also the first time it has issued warrants for the leader of a democratic country. That’s because Netanyahu is to Israel as Trump is to America. Both are corrupt, far right megalomaniacs who are very unpopular in their own countries but manage to get “elected” anyway. Netanyahu has managed to last six terms even though he was indicted in 2019 for breach of trust, accepting bribes, and fraud. Like Trump, Netanyahu sought immunity. The trial is ongoing while he is in power. If found guilty, he could go to jail for 10 years. Like Trump, he wants to stay in power so he can’t be thrown in jail.
At the invitation of Israel, MAGA Congresswoman Elise Stefanik went to Israel and made a partisan political speech attacking the President of the United States and praised Trump. Her hair was dyed dark for the occasion. Netanyahu did the same thing when he went behind Obama’s back to address a majority GOP Congress.
It takes a lot of nerve to go to Israel and talk shit about your own president on foreign soil as a member of congress, but add to that that her party refused to give aid to Israel for months. Why Israel would want her there is a mystery. Republicans support Trump who backs Vladimir Putin who backs Iran and Syria. Stefanik is ignoring Trump’s betrayal Israel after he gave Putin Israeli secrets while in office and Putin passed them on to Iran. Standing shoulder to shoulder with Netanyahu is like standing shoulder to shoulder with Trump and Elise Stefanik has done both.
The shoulder of a cow is the least expensive cut of beef. Elise Stefanik accepted the invitation to go to Israel to moo and woo the Jews. All that mooing won’t get her anywhere, even if she had worn a blue suit and red tie. She’s a cowardly MAGA cowpoke, waiting in line for her turn. As soon as Trump rings that bell, she’ll be slaughtered along with the rest of them.
More cowbell, please.
