Natural Selection

Spike Dolomite
5 min readJul 12, 2021

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It’s CPAC time again! Now that the Republican Party has been taken over by the absolute cringiest of the right wing fringe, the GQP will be having CPAC more than once a year. Each speaker a dominatrix for a sadomasochistic conspiracy marathon. All of the most brandished Nazi/Faux News/QAnon kooks the headliners. The theme was free hate speech and imaginary voter fraud. The Proud Boys were there with press credentials. The whole atmosphere was anti-American under the guise of pure American. The event made martyrs out of terrorists, pledged allegiance to the one true president (Trump AKA God) and got each other worked up over attacking the infidels. How is this any different than Al Queda? Poster boy for the Dunning-Kruger effect, Republican Congressman Mo Brooks said in his speech, “Our choice is simple. We can surrender and submit, or we can fight back. Think for a moment about our ancestors who fought at Valley Forge. That’s the kind of sacrifice we have to think about, and I ask you — are you willing to fight for America?” The only fight that took place at Valley Forge was over dismal camp conditions and smallpox. Washington’s soldiers were dying from it so he ordered them all to be inoculated. There weren’t any anti-vaxxers back then because there was no Fox News or the internet. Mo Brooks is an idiot. The question he was really posing to the other idiots at CPAC who don’t history was, “Are you willing to freeze to death, eat rotten food and get smallpox, dysentery and gangrene for America?”

High school drop out Lauren Boebert bumped and grinded on stage, yelling “We’re here to tell government we don’t want your benefits. We don’t want your welfare!” All the unemployed on unemployment, disabled on disability, and the elderly on both Social Security and Medicare yelled back, “Hell ya! Take it off!”

Everybody bashed the government all weekend but nothing got more applause than bashing the government for not hitting its goal for vaccinations from the people who refuse to get vaccinated.

They auctioned off a painting of Trump kissing the flag at CPAC for $25,000.

An event center in Southern California pulled a scheduled function after they found out it was Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

The day after his appearance at CPAC Trump called in to Maria Bartiromo’s show to spin “Who shot Ashli Babbitt.” He referred to her as an “innocent, wonderful, incredible woman” and then claimed to know who did it. “I’ve heard also that it was the head of security for a certain high official. A Democrat. It’s gonna come out.” Maria Bartiromo jumped on the “Who shot Ashli Babbitt” bandwagon by suggesting it was someone associated with Chuck Schumer. She also said that the left keeps calling it an armed insurrection but nobody carried any guns (spears, baseball bats, stun guns, chemical spray, fire extinguishers, stolen shields and pipe bombs don’t count — you’d have to have had a gun and even then it’s your right!) Maria Bartiromo and all of the other Faux News hosts are unemployable without Faux. Their victims of the cult of personality — their own.

Thick skinned Nancy Pelosi calls Trump “the twice impeached Florida retiree” because Trump’s skin is thin and she enjoys getting under it.

Anybody in the hospital right now with covid is unvaccinated. Anybody who dies from here on out is unvaccinated. 45% of Republicans are not vaccinated. 86% of Democrats are protected from covid because they have been vaccinated. This is called natural selection. This is science. Since Republicans don’t believe in science they don’t believe that they can be selected out to die from covid in order to strengthen the species. They’re too dumb to know just how dumb they are. The fittest (Democrats) will survive.

Ronny Jackson, the drunk who was elected to Congress after serving as Trump’s Dr. Feel Good and official White House Doctor went on Fox and called Democrats “socialists communists Marxists.” Since he’s a doctor, has Dr. Feel Good been vaccinated? Or is he unvaccinated because he’s a Republican? Which one did he select?

10,000 people are dead from covid in Missouri. Hospitals are begging for help from doctors and nurses out of state because they’re short staffed and overworked even as the anti-masker governor keeps saying the same thing now as he did in March 2020 — nothing to see here, this is not a crisis. The fire chief in Springfield disagrees. He calls it a mass casualty event. People are getting admitted to the hospital in total disbelief that they have covid. Even though nature has had it with these guys, doctors and nurses still try and save them because they took an oath to do no harm.

There is going to be so much written about this awful time in human history. One fascinating area of study will be the psychological impact of the cult of personality and how one man was able to demand and get complete loyalty from millions without giving anything in return. Trump selected himself and then he got millions to select him over decency, common sense, their country, democracy, each other, or the truth. Hitler did it, too. Is it a survival thing where people are afraid that if they don’t go along with the madman that they’ll be singled out and humiliated or destroyed? Is it personal ambition? Go along with the lawlessness, deceit and cruelty for one’s own professional or personal benefit? Are the cult members loyal because they want to seek attention and gain favor from their cult leader? Or is not about ambition, fear or celebrity at all but because the devotees are just as wicked as the celebrity?

Whatever it is, it’s vile. Good must triumph over evil. Two impeachments, an ongoing insurrection, criminal investigations, in your face corruption without accountability, and legislating rigged elections. Republicans won’t stop until they are FORCED to. The rule of law and voters must select them out.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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