New World Order

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMar 3, 2025

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Elon Musk’s tweet after Trump won the election

Trump set Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky up in the Oval Office by inviting him to sit in the hot seat so he could chastise him along with J.D. Vance live on TV in front of the whole world. The two of them basically started a new war by berating him for a full five minutes. They told him that he should be more grateful. Where are the thank yous? Marjorie Taylor Greene’s boyfriend, Brian Glenn, the Chief White House Correspondent for Real America’s Voice, was in the crowd that was allowed in to watch the spectacle. He asked Zelensky why he didn’t wear a suit in the Oval Office (never mind that Elon Musk never wears a suit and brings his kid with him everywhere he goes). Show some respect! Zelensky said he’d don the “costume” once the war with Russia was over.

Trump pointed and yelled at Zelensky and told him that the U.S. held all the cards and that Zelensky was messing with WWIII. Very, very dangerous rhetoric that was scripted for Putin.

The “peace talks” bombed and had to be cancelled and Zelensky left without U.S. support. Trump didn’t get anything out of it either — no mineral agreement. Zelensky left without signing anything. He may have lost the U.S., but he left knowing he had more of Europe’s support. Sure enough, as soon as it was over, leaders of European countries released statements saying they were increasing their support for Ukraine. Europe is much more unified and the U.S. is on its own.

Trump’s peace plan means Zelensky surrenders to Putin.

Russia released a statement immediately afterwards praising Trump and calling Zelensky a pig. For some reason, either sloppiness in procedure or an outright display of Russian support, there was a Russia state media reporter in the room who reported straight back to Putin what went on in that room.

The Ukrainian ambassador put her head in her hands in a gesture of shock and disgust.

The EU foreign policy chief released a statement saying that they’d take it from there. Trump has made the U.S. irrelevant and closer to Russia.

“The free world needs a new leader.”

The Kremlin praised Trump for being aligned with Russia.

Trump got to use the opportunity to use his power to make Zelensky pay for getting him impeached the first time. The display in the Oval Office was both an act of petty revenge and a gift to Putin.

The joint press conference afterwards was cancelled.

Trump berated an ally who is at war with our enemy in front of the whole world. The shittiest person in the world bullied the bravest person in the world live on TV. Trump sold out Ukraine, Europe, NATO, the U.S. and the world.

After Zelensky left Trump took to Truth Social to declare victory.

The world order changed in a moment and America is no longer a leader at the top — we’re on our own. The world order flipped in an instant.

By making America first Trump put America last, more and more countries are wanting to have less and less to do with the United States.

Nobody but Russia defended Trump. Everybody else declared their support for Ukraine, not the U.S. Trump has alienated us from our friends and allies. If are attacked now there is nobody that will help us.

Trump signed an executive order declaring the U.S. official language to be English.

Trump is deciding today on whether or not to still provide any more aid to Ukraine.

Trump sold out Ukraine, Europe, NATO, the U.S. and the world.

Trump is messing around with WWIII. We are in danger.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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