No Allegiance to the United States

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMay 19, 2023

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Disney has nixed its plans to move part of its Imagineering department currently located in California to Florida because Ron DeSantis is a dick. The Lake Nora Towne Center would have cost $1 billion to build and would have created 2,000 jobs with an average salary of $120,000. $17 billion is still earmarked for construction at Disney World over the next 10 years — growth that would create an estimated 13,000 jobs, but that could get nixed too if DeSantis doesn’t knock it off. Disney is the state’s highest taxpayer. “Does the state want us to invest more, employ more people, and pay more taxes, or not?” chief executive Robert A. Iger asked.

Ron DeSantis signed bills that attack gender affirming care for trans youth, criminalizing physicians who provide it, and gives the state the power to remove trans kids from their homes. After he signed them, a traffic sign in Orlando popped up that read, “KILL ALL GAYS.”

Florida has state sanctioned kidnapping now.

Ron DeSantis made a speech at a podium with signage in front that read, “Let kids be kids.” Except for girls. If a girl gets raped and impregnated by her dad, she’ll have to be a mom to her little sister.

Jim Jordan is still holding hearings for his stupid weaponization of the government committee, trying to prove that liberals are picking on conservatives. He called two FBI whistleblowers to testify — Steve Friend, a former FBI special agent, and Marcus Allen, an FBI staff operations specialist. They both had their security clearances revoked recently by the FBI over concerns about their allegiance to the United States. One downloaded documents from FBI computer systems to an unauthorized removable flash drive and the other failed to provide relevant information to an FBI Special Agent regarding MAGAs who attacked the Capitol. He sympathized with them. Both of these guys, like Jim Jordan, are insurrectionists and January 6th conspiracy theorists. They were paid by Kash Patel to appear, Trump’s Department of Defense Chief of Staff. Part of Patel’s duties was to be the custodian of government documents that belonged to the Nationals Archives that ended up at Mar-a-Lago (the National Archives has informed Trump that it will hand over to Special Counsel Jack Smith 16 records that show that he and his team understood the classification process before he left office.)

When asked if it was OK that Kash Patel paid his witnesses to testify, Jim Jordan said it was OK because they needed to feed their families. Jim Jordan knew that his corrupt witnesses had their security clearances revoked but he kept quiet, so the FBI made the information public.

Lieutenant Shane Lamond of the Metropolitan Police Department, who supervises the intelligence branch of the DC police, was indicted and charged for tipping off former Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio about a pending warrant for his arrest before the attack on the Capitol. They communicated 500 times.

Erik Prince, founder of Blackwater, the world’s largest, private, for-profit war company, has been indicted by Austria for trafficking arms to Libya in violation of the UN Arms Embargo. He transported $80 million worth of weapons, planes and helicopters.

Erik Prince purchased a 25% stake in Austrian aviation company Airborne Technologies in 2014.

Erik Prince is the brother of Trump’s education secretary, Betsy Devos. He hired foreign spies to target Trump’s political rivals that broke into organizations such as teachers unions (as a favor to his sister?)

On August 3, 2016, Erik Prince organized a meeting with Donald Trump, Jr. and other Trump campaign aides at an emissary representing Saudi Arabia and the UAE to discuss getting their help in winning the election.

Erik Prince helped arrange a 2017 meeting in the Seychelle Islands with a Kremlin ally to establish a backchannel of communication between Trump and Russia. He lied to Congress about it and said it was a coincidence that they were all there and just happened to bump into each other.

On April 13, 2021, Erik Prince resigned from the logistics and security company he founded, Frontier Services Group, partially owned by the Chinese government. They were working to arm African countries. He resigned after it was found out that Prince was doing more than selling arms. He was arming civilians.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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