No Word from Republicans

Spike Dolomite
3 min readApr 30, 2020

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Republicans led the horses to water and they drank and drank and drank. Now what? Lead them to slaughter or out to pasture?

30 million people are now unemployed. That’s 20% of the workforce. No word from Republicans.

Americans have grieved more coronavirus deaths in 2 months than all of the deaths from the Vietnam war but with fallen soldiers, at least friends and family could have a funeral.

Not a word from the Republicans except Mitch the Bitch wants the Senate to reconvene just to confirm judges.

4 moving trucks containing as many as 60 iced dead bodies were discovered outside a Brooklyn funeral home after someone saw fluids dripping from the trucks and called the cops. The mortician had run out of storage space. They’re probably trying to figure out an excuse for why trucks full of dead bodies will be parked outside of funeral homes in red states in the coming weeks.

Florida has told coroners to stop releasing coronavirus death data so people won’t know how many people actually died from the disease.

Jared Kushner went on Fox and Friends to lie, lie and lie some more, “We’re on the other side of the medical aspect of this and have achieved all the different milestones that are needed. So, the government, federal government rose to the challenge and this is a great success story and I think that that’s really what needs to be told……..The eternal lockdown crowd can make jokes on late night television, but the reality is that the data is on our side.”

No word from Republicans. We’re not on the other side of anything and they know it.

“This little shit has clearly not been to a zoom funeral.” — Adam Parkhomenko

Trump has tweeted and retweeted 44 times in 2 hours this morning.

No word from Republicans.

Trump got mad at his campaign manager, Brad Parscale, because he is polling behind Biden. He threatened to sue him.

Trump misses his MAGA rallies. It’s the only time he ever gets to feel loved. He said he hopes that someday he will be able to hold rallies with 25,000 people and no social distancing because that would be great. Make ME great again. “Hopefully in the not too distant future we’ll have some massive rallies and people will be sitting next to each other. I can’t imagine a rally where you have every 4th seat full, every six seats are empty for every one you have full. That wouldn’t look too good.”

30 million unemployed, 1 million cases and 61,000 dead and Trump is tweeting and thinking about rallies and there is no word from Republicans.

A 40 year ideological fight between Democrats and Republicans has now become a logical fight thanks to Trump. Now that we’re faced with a pandemic that is killing people, a dysfunctional health care system that is exploding hour by hour and a recession, should the government step in and help or are we on our own?

Republicans? Hello?

“We’re doing a job the likes of which nobody’s ever done.” — Donald J. Trump

“I think what we need now is optimism.” — Peter Navarro

“Donald Trump is the dick pic of America.” — Some guy on Twitter

Trump has blown up all 3 branches of government, lit the constitution on fire, trashed the economy, demonized the free press and now he’s killing people and the Republicans have said and done nothing.

NOTHING.

On this day in 1945, Hitler committed suicide while hiding in a bunker with Eva Braun.

Just saying.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.