No Worries

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJul 11, 2020


New record: 70,000 coronavirus cases in one day. Trump, Pence and the Republicans say, “No worries!”

Trump stepped off Air Force One in Miami to spend the weekend at his private club, located in one of the worst coronavirus hotspots in the country. He wasn’t wearing a mask, even though it’s now a mandate in Miami-Dade County. No worries! I’m the president! I can do whatever I want!

There are 11,433 new confirmed cases in Florida and 93 deaths. 40 hospitals in 20 counties have no available beds in the ICU and they’re still going to open up Disney World because why, Florida worry?

Texas and Arizona need refrigerator trucks because morgues are full.

Julian and Joaquin Castro’s dad has the coronavirus and their stepmother just died from it.

A Christian sleepaway camp in Missouri sent everybody home after 82 campers and staff turned up with the coronavirus. 10 of them live in different states. The big question is why would the camp be open in the first place and what parent in their right mind would send their kid to summer camp during a deadly pandemic? Don’t Christians worry?

A few days after the Supreme Court ruled that presidents aren’t above the law Trump commuted Roger Stone’s sentence. He was convicted of lying to Congress and witness tampering. Trump rewarded him for not revealing any of dirt he has on Trump. Before he found out he had been commuted he said, “What, me worry?”

“Pardons are used to take care of someone who’s been the victim of a great injustice. Not a self-protection racket or rewarding political allies or sycophants. This is the worst abuse of pardon power we’ve seen to date.” — John Avlon

Trump has commuted sentences of criminals who lied to Congress on his behalf and the Republicans aren’t worried. At least they pretend like they’re not worried in public.

“We are living in a mafia state modeled after Russia. The loyalists commit crimes and get rewarded, Trump and his Republican inner circle have looted our country while mass Americans are dying. The people protecting our country get punished, fired, harassed, and called traitors”- Olga Lautman

Trump says Biden “plagiarized” his economic plan and will raise everybody’s taxes. Trump is worried.

Trump canceled his New Hampshire MAGA Super Spreader rally today. His campaign blamed it on the weather. That’s not it. The real reason he cancelled is because he’s worried that he’ll get punk’d again by the TikTok Teens.

Trump is bored with the school reopening debate so he’s giving up on school altogether. He tweeted: Too many Universities and School Systems are about Radical Left Indoctrination, not Education. Therefore, I am telling the Treasury Department to re-examine their Tax-Exempt Status and/or Funding, which will be taken away if this Propaganda or Act Against Public Policy continues. Our children must be Educated, not Indoctrinated!

Trump said yesterday, “Like people don’t remember — nobody ever heard of it until I came along, nobody remembered it for a long time or they didn’t use it at least. I use it all the time: Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. You know you say that and people say, ‘I didn’t know that.’” His handlers worry every day, all day, riddled with anxiety over the next time he’ll say something stupid like this.

Americans are worried sick about what happens next.

Bill Barr got rid of another US Attorney who is investigating Trump. He put one of his guys in his place at the Eastern District of New York. Don’t worry, Trump. Bill Barr will fix everything.

The feds are worried that Epstein’s madam, Ghislaine Maxwell, will commit suicide, but not Bill Barr. He’s not worried.

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.