Not Normal

Trump is pooping his pants this morning as the Dems close in on him. He is facing serious consequences for the first time in his life for fraud, money laundering, and now treason. NOT NORMAL.

Junior expects to be indicted any day. This worries Senior, not because he loves his son and is concerned for him, but because it means it could be bad for him. That’s not normal.

The White House plotted to exclude a reporter from the press room and slander him. A Republican governor and US Senate candidate is misusing his power to get the cops to shut down ballot counting in the race that he is desperate to win. The president fired the head of the FBI to stop an investigation into him and when that didn’t work he fired the head of the Department of Justice for the same reason and then installed someone he saw on TV who does not have legal authority for the job. This is not what democracy looks like. This is not normal.

Trump’s pick to protect him from the Robert Mueller investigation, Matt Whitaker, is turning out to be a toxic dud. Leaked audio captures him claiming that Russia didn’t interfere with the election. Video clips of him going on the cable news shows parroting fakes news talking points aired over and over. News that he once sat on the advisory board of a scam company that conned people out of money resulting in the government shutting them down has surfaced. In 2014 he told an Iowa evangelical forum that he’d like to see federal judges with a “New Testament” view of justice - “If they have a secular world view then I’m going to be very concerned about how they judge.” This is abnormal.

1,000 impromptu rallies popped up all over the country on 24 hours notice to demand that Robert Mueller be protected and Trump be stopped from thinking he is above the law.

Senators Jeff Flake and Chris Coons plan to ask for a floor vote on legislation to shield Mueller from being fired. Since Jeff Flake is involved, this probably doesn’t mean anything. That’s normal for Republicans.

There is some really fishy stuff going on with counting ballots in Florida. Boxes of ballots were transferred to a rental truck parked late at night in an empty parking lot, and a box of provisional ballots was discovered left at an elementary school. Rick Scott is claiming, without evidence, that Broward and Palm Beach elections officials committed “rampant fraud” and Trump backed him up in a tweet. “Big corruption scandal! Rick Scott won!”

Sean Hannity said the same thing about the Florida governor race, “Someone needs to go to jail here!” For what? For counting votes?

Counting votes isn’t partisan. It’s democracy.

One of the dead in the Thousand Oaks massacre had survived the shooting in Vegas. His mom said she wants gun control now. GUN CONTROL NOW. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!

The NRA immediately criticized the “self important anti-gun doctors” for sticking their noses in their gun fetish, paranoid, white privileged limp dick business, saying that they aren’t as knowledgeable about human health as they are and that doctors who want to reduce gun deaths should just “stay in your lane.” To that the doctors exclaimed, “We are not anti-gun, we are anti-bullet holes in our patients. This is our lane.”

307 mass shootings this year. How many were committed by undocumented immigrants or Muslims?

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Convicted Trump advisor, George Papadopoulos, has set up a Go Fund Me page for himself and is asking for donations of up to $250,000 so he can “live normal again.” He says he is broke. “Broke” to cocky young conservatives is not the same as broke to the rest of us. He can pay his gas bill.

Newly elected millennial, Alexandra Ocasio Cortez, can’t afford to move to DC yet because, like most millennials, she is broke. She hasn’t set up a Go Fund Me page or asked people to give her $250,000 because that’s not normal and that’s why she won.

The Democrats won more House seats on Tuesday than they have in 40 years. Many who were elected are some of the youngest representatives in history which has lowered the average age in Congress by a decade.

Hang in there America, help is on the way.

#protectmueller

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.