Now Eat this or Gag Me with a Republican Spoon

Time to dust off those old Steve Bannon memes and gifs because he’s back in the news again, thanks to MSNBC. Ari Melber gave Steve Bannon an entire hour to vomit up a full serving of hate and wipe it all over the set. Fox News viewers may get off on that kind of punch in the gut, but not liberals. It makes them sick to their stomachs. WTF, MSNBC?

An hour before MSNBC puked all over itself, Rachel Maddow had John Brennan on her show and it was glorious. He nailed Trump and the Republicans to their own wall, diplomatically of course. His supper stayed in his tummy where it belonged, because Brennan is one of the good guys. He is not a registered Democrat or Republican and never has been. He’s a patriot who knows more about Russiagate than he can tell us. Listen carefully and enjoy your meal.

The Republican running for Darrell Issa’s seat in California, Diane Harkey, is having a fundraiser in the district today and invited Dick Cheney. He cancelled at the last minute. The people who paid good money per plate to go to this thing will be spared getting barfed on with bullshit from the late 20th century, even though paying good money to go to vomitoriums is something they regularly do.

Betsy DeVos’ brother, Erik Prince, wants to build a private army whose only allegiance would be to Trump. First order of business — a contract for Afghanistan. He is launching a cable news tour to advertise to Trump as he sits on his fat ass watching TV all day, regurgitating Big Macs, the wretched retch. Dig in, murderous crooks! It’s time to make some MONEY!

The Senate unanimously passed a resolution Thursday affirming that “The press is not the enemy of the people.” The resolution, introduced by Democratic Senator Brian Schatz of Hawaii, passed by unanimous consent. Let that digest for a minute. The US Senate had to pass a resolution to say that the press is not the enemy.

Trump says he has received “tremendous response” for taking Brennan’s clearance away and you know what that means……..no he didn’t.

More stripping of security clearances are on the way. He’s going to take the clearance away from someone whose wife worked for the Steele Dossier firm. It’s payback time, suckers! I AM THE KING! GET IN MY BELLY! This is political vengeance. Trump is using his power to silence critics. America keeps advancing into more dangerous territory and further away from democracy.

Trump could never get a security clearance if it weren’t for automatically getting one because he’s the president.

Kellyanne Conway asked reporters what the big obsession with Trump was. She also said it’s “kinda weird” for national security experts to want to talk about Trump so much.

The judge in the Paul Manafort case is getting death threats so he’s not going to let jurors be identified because they might get death threats, too. Who made the threats? Russia mafia or MAGA gun nuts? Jurors sent the judge a note asking if they could leave at 5. They wanted to go home so they could get good and drunk. Puke if you must, just don’t tell anybody about the trial.

Trump defended Manafort to the press and said he was a good person. He used the few words that he knows to say the same thing he always says, “It’s very sad what they’re doing to OUR COUNTRY.” A good man? Um no. An insatiable, greedy man, just like Trump, who punched the American treasury in the gut by ripping it off by not paying $30–60 million in taxes.

Trump keeps telling the press that he hasn’t done anything wrong, but he won’t tell Mueller that.

Republican Congressman Steve King of Iowa is so awful he thinks it’s OK to kill cats and dogs and eat them.

Republican Senator Up-Chuck Grassley, also from Iowa, is on every farmer’s shit list and won’t be invited to supper any time soon. Trump’s trade war is killing them.

After MAGA Congressman Matt Gaetz posted a picture of himself with Roger Stone on Twitter, “Enjoyed dinner with the brightest political mind in America!” America threw up a little bit in its mouth.

Some judge needs to put a gag order on Trump but if they did, he wouldn’t throw up self incriminating tweets all day so we’ll just have to live with the daily gag reflex.

Omarosa is trumping Trump. She’s going to milk this thing every day until the country becomes lactose intolerant.

Today is Saturday and you know what that means……..Omarosa won’t be on SNL because it’s summer. No belly laughs for you tonight, America.

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.