Oh Ya? Well What About Hillary Clinton?

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJun 22, 2023

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Installation by LA street artist, Plastic Jesus

Trump’s trial date has been set for August 14 in southern Florida. Trump has barely cobbled a defense team together so this ought to be interesting.

The stupid idiot confessed on live TV during an interview with Bret Baier that he stole classified government documents, giving the prosecution one more exhibit to show the jury of the accused admitting to his crimes after being charged and booked.

Trump has been implicated in another crime after a state legislator in Pennsylvania, Republican Dan Laughlin, tried to sue a local newspaper for defamation. During discovery he had to turn over emails. Some of them discussed Trump’s fake electors scheme. Oops.

Another one of Trump’s lawyers, Jim Trusty, has dumped him, citing “irreconcilable differences.”

Hunter Biden will plead guilty to two misdemeanor tax charges, avoiding prosecution on a gun charge. This has been a 5 year investigation. The US attorney who has been investigating him started under Trump and continued under Joe Biden and Merrick Garland — they stayed out of it. He looked into everything — overseas finances and business dealings, the infamous laptop, embarrassing drug moments, and didn’t find anything that the right-wing media accused him of. He is the one who set the terms of the plea deal which has infuriated Republicans. That’s not how this was supposed to go. Now Jim Comer is going to drag him before his oversight committee to interrogate him on TV. That’s not going to go the way they think it should either.

Daniel “D.J.” Rodriguez, the MAGA rioter who drove a stun gun into officer Michael Fanone’s neck causing a heart attack, has been sentenced to 12.5 years in prison.

MAGA wenches, Marjorie Taylor Green and Lauren Boebert got in another cat fight on the House floor. Marjorie called Lauren a “little bitch.”

Lauren Boebert said God spoke to her and told her to impeach Biden.

The Republicans censured Adam Schiff for impeaching Trump. MAGA newbie, Anna Paulina Luna the lunatic, tried and failed last week so she brought it forward again this week minus the millions in fines, and succeeded because Trump had threatened all of them with primaries. They’re all so afraid of Trump they voted to go along with a MAGA wacko to censure Schiff for impeaching their hero. What normally happens after someone is censured is that the member must stand in the well and be admonished for their bad behavior. That didn’t happen this time. All of the Dems flooded into the well to join Schiff, taking him by surprise, chanting “SHAME!” towards Kevin McCarthy.

There have been 7 censures of House members in the past fifty years, each for egregious illegal or unethical behavior. Adam Schiff was censured by the Republicans for doing his job and investigating the most corrupt president in American history.

While Trump is being investigated for espionage, the Republicans are obsessed with impeaching and imprisoning Joe Biden. Some have started the impeachment process against Joe Biden and others are investigating him for crimes. Jamie Raskin has asked the FBI to make public details of its assessment of the Biden bribery rumor that House Oversight chair James Comer is claiming.

Rudy Giuliani says the GOP witness who had all the information regarding their fake Biden bribery scheme has died.

Moms for Liberty, the white supremacist group that has been infiltrating school boards (and has been classified as an official hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center), quoted Hitler on the front of its newsletter — “He alone, who OWNS the youth, GAINS the future.”

RNC chair Ronna McDaniel went on CNN and said there is one standard for Hillary Clinton and one for Donald Trump, thus formalizing the RNC’s stand on Trump being tried for espionage — what about Hillary Clinton?

Republican speaker of the house in North Carolina, Tim Moore, got busted for trading political favors for group sex. Pasty, puffy, white Republicans getting naked with each other. Gross.

It’s been five months and the only thing that the House has managed to accomplish is pass 2 bills saving gas stoves, investigate Hunter Biden and Joe Biden, censure Adam Schiff, and attempt to impeach Biden. The Dems can’t get anything done legislatively because they’re outnumbered by insurrectionists and lunatics.

LA street artist, Plastic Jesus, installed a bathtub filled with “top secret” cardboard boxes and a toilet surrounded by yellow police tape next to Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Trump must have paid to have his star replaced because the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce got tired of fixing it every time it got vandalized or destroyed. People pooped on it.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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