Only in America
More and more people are finding themselves on the streets. It’s starting to look like the Great Depression. To Republiqans, this is an eyesore and they want those filthy lazy lowlifes removed from their communities as if they were dumped there like an old couch or mattress. They don’t blame Trump, though. They blame the homeless for their life choices. After awhile, they’ll blame Biden, Democrats, and bleeding heart liberals for being too soft on slackers. Only in America.
The day after the Republiqans pronounced to the whole world that Trump was “not guilty” for insurrection, Lindsey Graham was on TV making threats such as they’re going to get the Democrats back for this — they’ll impeach Kamala Harris after they take the House in 2022. He bragged about talking to Trump after the trial ended and said, “He’s ready to move on and rebuild the Republican Party. He’s excited about 2022. And I’m going to go down to talk with him next week, play a little golf in Florida. And I said Mr. President this MAGA movement needs to continue.” He believes that Trump, a twice-impeached one term president, is the face of the Republiqan party. Then he endorsed Trump’s daughter in law, Lara, who’s married to Bleeding Gums Eric, for US Senate in North Carolina where he does not live.
Before Trump, nobody thought Lindsey Graham could ever happen in America.
President Biden is keeping Healthcare.gov open until May 15 so people can sign up for Obamacare during a public health crisis. Biden is fulfilling his promise to be the president for all Americans, not just the ones who voted for him. His predecessor shortened the enrollment period, cut the advertising budget, and crashed the website so people couldn’t apply.
74% of Democrats have said that they have been or will be vaccinated. 51% of Republiqans said they would. Independents 61%. Only in America are people so arrogant and brainwashed that they would politicize and refuse a remedy for a deadly disease just to stick it to the libs, proving that science will always prevail. The fittest will survive.
Because Texans won’t stay inside to slow the pandemic, God punched Republican Jesus in his 2 white faces and sent a snow storm, forcing everybody to stay inside. Texans don’t know how to drive in the snow any more than they know how to eat kale. The snow freaked them out so they shot it. And once again, because Joe Biden said he would be the President for all Americans, and not just those who voted for him, he approved Texas as a national emergency. Trump let California burn. Literally.
Speaking of Texans, Ted Cruz shaved the sides of his head so now he has a really bad mullet but at least he’s more relatable to his dumb ass voters. The mullet. Only in America.
Republiqans are furious that the Chamber of Commerce has embraced Joe Biden. “What! Does the chamber care about social justice now? That’s not supposed to happen in America!”
The court let insurrectionist Rachel Powell go home even though she evaded arrest for a month. When asked if she felt remorseful for leading white supremacists into the Capitol, she declined to answer and instead asked people to donate to her legal fund. Only in America.
Steve Mnuchin’s wife, Louise Linton, says she has been “villainized” by Hollywood. Somebody sent her a box of horse shit. It wasn’t a horse’s head because Hollywood loves animals and that kind of thing only happens in the movies. Louise Linton won’t get to happen in the movies because she plays a villain in real life.
Only in America — Kellyanne Conway is using her troubled teenaged daughter who she has been in a very public feud with to sanitize her creepy whorish image by exploiting her as a contestant for American Idol. Her daughter did OK during the audition, but not great, but she’ll be moving on anyway so has-beens American Idol and Kellyanne can get more “likes.”
The worst thing that a president can do is facilitate an insurrection to maintain power, destroy democracy, and reign as a dictator. The Senate did the worst thing it could do by acquitting him and opening the door for the next authoritarian who is far more capable. Up until Trump nobody would have ever, EVER thought this could happen in America.
Veteran news man Dan Rather, who is 89, said he’s been through WWII and 9/11 but this is the scariest time he’s lived through because we’re doing this to ourselves.
Only in America.
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