Open the Churches!
Trump held a special press conference to announce that houses of worship are now deemed “essential” and he wants them all open this weekend. “In America we need more prayer, not less. If they don’t do it, I will override the governors.” After making his religious proclamation, he turned around and walked off the stage, ignoring the reporter who repeatedly asked, “Mr. President, will you be going to church?”
If Trump shows up in a church tomorrow it’s for one reason only: To get his picture taken.
As if Governor Gavin Newsom doesn’t have enough to do, he had to clean Trump’s puke up in a tweet: Towards the end of Ramadan and start of Eid-al-Fitr, grateful for the Muslim community across California celebrating the holiest time of the year safely — staying healthy and slowing the spread of COVID 19.
A megachurch in California has turned out to be a petri dish for the spread of the coronavirus in Sacramento — 70 people got it because they defied the governor’s stay at home order to go jump for Jesus. Now what are they going to do? Pray the Trump Plague away like they pray the gay away?
A reporter took offense after Kay-lie McEnany insinuated that the members of the media weren’t religious — “Boy it’s interesting to be in a room that desperately wants to seem to see these houses of worship and churches stay closed.” The reporter replied, “Kayleigh, I object to that. I go to church. I’m dying to go back to church. The question that we’re asking… is it safe?”
Kay-lie bombed her attempt to frame the liberal media as atheists but she wasn’t done there. She went on to brag about Trump donating $100,000 of his salary to the US Department of Health and Human Services to develop new therapies for treating and preventing coronavirus and held up an actual check to prove it, sharing sensitive personal information on the president of the United States — address, bank, account number and routing number.
Chanel Rion, White House plant for the One America News Network (OANN) stood up to ask if Trump is thinking about pardoning President Obama.
Speaking of OANN, a judge dismissed a $10 million libel claim against Rachel Maddow for her comments on her show that OANN is the most pro-Trump right wing news outlet in America and is literally paid Russian propaganda.
Junior is part of an investment group that is buying a major stake in OANN because Fox isn’t cutting it anymore. The Trumps want to move the MAGAs over to OANN because they’re way more insane and paranoid.
44% of Republicans think Bill Gates is working on a coronavirus vaccine so he can plant a microchip in them because they heard it from QAnon and OANN.
Health care workers on the front lines of the Trump Plague are committing suicide because their PTSD is too much to live with.
A local reporter in Minnesota was cornered and heckled by an angry mob of MAGAs because he showed up to cover them while wearing a mask. They forced him off the sidewalk and chanted, “Take it off!” They were there “protesting” the closure of their favorite tavern.
A group of women went into a grocery store to “protest” having to wear a mask by simultaneously taking off their underwear and putting it over their heads.
MAGAs are coughing and spitting on people to show how disgusting they are just in case people didn’t know that already by the words that come out of their mouths and the crap that’s written on their t-shirts and hats.
Trump has decided he wants to start messing around with nuclear testing after 30 years because he’s running out of things to scare the crap out of people with.
The USA hasn’t been issuing passports except for extreme emergencies.
Dr. Birx said over and over again that it’s safe to play golf with certain precautions this weekend because Trump is golfing this weekend.
Donald Trump will be on a golf course when the 100,000th American dies from the Trump Plague.
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