Or Well

Spike Dolomite
3 min readMar 27, 2020


The US is the #1 country with the most coronavirus cases but Trump says no we’re not.

There are 150 hospital workers who have tested positive in Massachusetts but Trump says no there’s not.

Doctors in New York say that deaths aren’t being reported accurately. There are more. Trumps says no there’s not.

There’s been an outbreak of coronavirus aboard a Navy aircraft carrier in the Pacific and Trump says no there’s not.

More Americans died yesterday in New York City from the coronavirus than died in Afghanistan over the past 5 years but Trump says no there’s not.

The mayor of Atlanta says their ICU units are at capacity but Trump says no they aren’t.

The only sounds in the streets of New York are sirens and helicopters but Trump says no there’s not.

The food banks in New Orleans are nearly empty but Trump says no they aren’t.

People waited in line for 2 miles to get food at an El Paso food bank and Trump said no they didn’t.

Mike Pompeo referred to the coronavirus as the Wuhan Virus at a virtual G-7 meeting and everybody said OH NO YOU DON’T.

A grocery store in northeast Pennsylvania had to throw out $35,000 worth of food because an American idiot deliberately coughed on them.

A young Trump cult member who licked a toilet seat to prove his loyalty to Trump is now in a hospital infected with the coronavirus, taking a bed away from somebody’s grandmother.

A Trump loving fucktrumpet in Kentucky tested positive after attending a coronavirus party and now he’s overloaded the hospital in his town by one more Trump loving fucktrumpet.

A 26 year old dump shit in Missouri has been arrested and charged with making a terrorist threat because he filmed himself licking items on shelves at a Walmart and posted them on social media.

The cops were called on a dumb fuck twatwaffle who licked the door handle to a freezer at a store in Wisconsin to protest the virus because the manager was disinfecting surfaces.

The FBI shot and killed a MAGA who tried to detonate a car bomb outside a hospital in Kansas City before it could kill hundreds of coronavirus patients and first responders.

Pharmacists in Ohio are filling tons of prescriptions for hydroxychloroquine and chloroquine after Trump went on TV and told pisskidney bumholes to take it.

There are plenty of scrotes out there who still believe that the coronavirus is a hoax. They’re getting it and spreading it. They don’t care because they also believe that Trump has the cure.

Trump is as popular now as he has ever been because the networks put him on TV every day so he can lie to every American stuck in their homes who are watching TV all day long. The Reality TV President has everybody right where he wants them — held hostage in their own homes, glued to the TV, and forced to listen to propaganda every single day.

This is Orwellian.

Stupid shitspitter buttmunch Trump bootlickers say, or well!

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.