Pass It On!

If Trump poops while he tweets and there aren’t any aids around to say he didn’t because they all died from the coronavirus, did he still poop? Or tweet?

Over 126 tweets in one day. Trump spent the entire day, Mother’s Day, rage tweeting nonstop which means he tweeted while he pooped.

The Trump Plague has made its way into the West Wing which is bad for business. Trump wants businesses open but he can’t even mind his own business because he’s too busy pooping, tweeting, and denying there is a problem. He’s more worried about his image than he is about people actually getting sick and dying, or knowing that he poops while he tweets.

Mike Pence says he won’t be self quarantining even though he’s been exposed to the virus at work. He’ll go in today which is stupid but it probably is for the best.

A high ranking member of the administration has it but the White House is keeping it a secret. Senior officials believe it is spreading rapidly throughout the cramped offices of the West Wing but they won’t admit it publicly. Will the psychophants in the administration keep lying for Trump all the way until the ridiculous end? Will they prop his corpse up at the podium and play a recording of Trump’s greatest hits from his MAGA rallies for the final episode of the season finale of the Reality TV President and tell everybody that he isn’t dead?

If this were any other time in history, systems would ordinarily be in place to protect the leadership of the country so governing could go on uninterrupted but they fucked that up too. In this case, leadership could be murdering itself because it’s so stupid.

Old white man Tennessee Republican senator Lamar Alexander will be in isolation for 2 weeks after a member of his staff tested positive for the coronavirus. He’s warning Americans right now that the federal government can’t help everybody because there isn’t enough money. There is always an endless supply of money to help Republicans by way of pandering and accepting bribes from the rich but there isn’t enough money in the treasury generated by tax payers to actually help tax payers during a global pandemic and the Make America Great Depression.

Trump pulled grant funding from Peter Daszak, PhD, who warned about the pandemic while he was doing virology research. After Trump heard skanky Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz from Flori-duh make up a conspiracy theory about Peter Daszak on the spot on Fox News, he fired him.

In Arizona, the Republican governor fired scientists who warned that opening up the state was a bad idea.

Speaking of Arizona and bad ideas, GOP chair and conspiracy nut Kelli Ward, wants MAGAs to wear scrubs when they “protest” so the media will confuse them with counter protesters, actual doctors and nurses. She wants everybody to use #JustWearScrubs and #WeAreAllHeroic when they post their selfies.

Meanwhile in MAGA country in Colorado, state house minority leader, MAGA Republican Patrick Neville, had lunch at the C&C Coffee and Kitchen in Castle Rock which defied a statewide public health order and opened for Mother’s Day. Owner April Arellano and proud Trump follower said she got twice the amount of customers she did last year on Mother’s Day, all MAGAs of course, proudly giving the government, their neighbors, the health care workers at their local hospital, and the little kids there with their families the middle finger. Nobody was wearing masks or practicing social distancing.

72 of the “protesters” who rallied against the stay at home order in Wisconsion have tested positive for the coronavirus SO FAR.

They’re throwing COVID-19 parties in Walla Walla, Washington.

Nature has got this. This fittest will survive IF WE STAY THE FUCK HOME.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.