Patient Zero
Trump hasn’t been getting tested regularly because he doesn’t like anybody putting anything up his nose. He’s been letting everybody else get tested around him thinking that’s good enough. Let them get poked instead. Everybody in the White House has been covering for Trump not getting tested. That’s why his Central Casting doctor won’t answer the question, “When was Trump’s last negative test?” Trump is Patient Zero. At least 18 people in his close orbit have contracted the Trump Plague, including Nazi ghoul Stephen Miller.
A top US Coast Guard official who carries the nuclear codes in the “football” that accompanies Trump everywhere he goes has tested positive so now the Joint Chiefs of Staff are all in quarantine. The top leadership at the Pentagon have been neutered by Patient Zero. We’re sitting fucked ducks.
Trump is getting everybody sick at the top of the US government and while many are sick about it, they won’t tell on him. Patient Zero has infected the central nervous system of our national security.
Democrats and their staffs are not getting sick because they follow the CDC guidelines and stay as far away from Trump and the Republicans as possible.
Republican Michael Hayden, a retired US Air Force 4 star General and former Director of the National Security Agency, Deputy Director of National Intelligence, and Director of the CIA has come out in favor of Biden. He says, “Joe Biden is a good man, Donald Trump is not.”
Pence has been out there doing his own thing separate from the White House when he should be in quarantine in DC ready to take over at a moment’s notice. He has a debate tonight with Kamala Harris. He mocked her for wanting a plexiglass shield around her on the debate stage. The head of the White House’s coronavirus task force mocked a US senator for wanting to protect herself from the deadly contagious disease that he is supposedly over seeing.
Republican hypocrite fun fact: America’s best Christian and proponent of chastity, Mother Pence, is a divorcee. Mike is her second son.
Another Republican hypocrite fun fact: Trump has been taking a drug made from stem cells and the pro-lifers are cool with it because it’s always different when they need life saving stem cell treatment.
Facebook and Instagram deleted Trump’s post where he lied and said that the coronavirus was less deadly than the flu, citing that “the misinformation could contribute to imminent physical harm.” They banned QAnon from their platforms too.
Twitter locked Trump’s account after he shared the email address of a New York Post columnist. He had to delete the tweet before they let him tweet again.
Trump killed the coronavirus stimulus bill in a Twitter fit which sent the stock market into a ditch. Mitch McConnell agreed with him because he’s just as evil as Patient Zero is. Speaker Pelosi questioned Trump’s steroid use and said she believes the drugs are impacting his cognitive function. Trump regretted what he did later in the day and tweeted an opposite tweet telling Congress to proceed. $1,200 checks for everybody!
Junior has been going on TV and posting videos of himself in which he’s obviously very impaired. He’s flat out wasted. When asked about Nancy Pelosi accusing his dad of being under the influence on Fox News, he said Nancy Pelosi has her own “substance issues.”
Patient Zero hasn’t called in to his favorite Fox TV show or done any propaganda press conferences in 5 days.
Everybody in the West Wing is getting sick. Very few people are showing up for work. They’ve had to spray the premises with noxious chemicals to kill the Trump Plague. The staff is freaking out.
The Republicans in Congress are all looking the other way. Trump used to be a symptom of the GOP. Now he’s the disease.
The US government is in total chaos all because of Patient Zero.
27 days until we get to vote.
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