People Suck

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 26, 2022


Runner up for Worst Person in the World, Alex Jones pleaded the fifth over 100 times when questioned by the Select Committee. Alex Jones sucks.

John Eastman, one of Trump’s crackpot attorneys who spoke at the Stop the Steal rally and met with insurrectionists at the Willard Hotel (Coup Central Command Center), the dumb ass who authored the 6 point plot to overthrow the government that convinced Trump that Pence had the power to crown him king, pleaded the fifth over 150 times. He refused to turn over his emails to the Select Committee but then Chapman University, where Eastman taught law said they’ll turn over 19,000 emails today because the university technically owns them. The guy was stupid enough to use his school account to work on the coup. John Eastman sucks.

Tucker Carlson had a guest on his show to convince his viewers to commit suicide. Alex Berenson, author of “Pandemia: How Coronavirus Hysteria Took Over Our Government, Rights, and Lives” which helped get him banned from Twitter over 6 months ago, told Tucker’s audience, “The mRNA covid vaccines need to be withdrawn from the market. No one should get them. No one should get boosted. No one should get double boosted. They are a dangerous and ineffective product at this point.” Alex Berenson sucks. Tucker Carlson sucks. Families who have lost parents and grandparents who have died because they took this “advice” should press charges. These guys don’t belong in society.

Kyrsten Sinema sucks so bad that Voto Latino has created a campaign to get rid of her, “Adios Sinema,” and the powerful women’s group Emily’s List dropped her from their endorsements, and Indivisible, the group that formed to organize young people to combat Trump and the Republicans based on the successful tactics used by the Tea Party to get Republicans to crawl into a “whites only” box that they’ll never be able to crawl after out of, and the Arizona Democratic Party censured her. They’re all going to work to get rid of her. She fucked everybody over who worked their butts off to get her elected. Now they’re going to make sure her career in election politics is over.

Rudy Giuliani, the guy who went from “America’s Mayor” to “Trump’s Coupter” is sleeping on a cot in the basement of the People Suck Hostile Hostel. 3,000 of his communication records have been turned over to the Manhattan US attorney. He’s being investigated for serving as an agent for Ukraine on Trump’s behalf. He’s so broke he’s selling autographed 9/11 t-shirts.

Opportunist Michael Avenatti, who went to jail for ripping off his client, porn star Stormy Daniels by stealing $300,000 from her, dumped his public defenders so he could go for another 15 minutes of fame by representing himself so he can cross examinine Stormy Daniels today. Michael Avenatti had a lot of people fooled during his first 15 minutes of Stormy Daniels fame. Now he just sucks.

Russia is about to invade Ukraine. Americans have been told to get out of the country and 8,500 US troops have been put on notice that they could be going to Ukraine. Republicans want Biden to get tough on Putin which is more than ironic after wanting to watch Putin and Trump kiss. Republicans are pro-Russia except when they’re being anti-Biden. Republicans suck.

The Pope says that covid vaccinations are a moral obligation but that won’t mean anything to the American Christians who worship Republican Jesus. American Christians who worship Republican Jesus suck.

A couple more people minding their own business were randomly shot and made the news because there are more guns in America than there are people and a good many of those people suck. They like to fuck around with their guns as if they were toys, pretend they’re in a movie where they get to save the world, or are out right criminals. Matthew Willson was visiting his girlfriend in Atlanta when he was shot by a stray bullet in the middle of the night while sleeping in her bed. Yahoos were shooting off guns for kicks. He was from England. 18 year old Robert Cuadra died after being struck by a stray bullet while carrying groceries into his grandmother’s house in New Jersey.

A couple of weeks ago some cops filmed themselves slapping and hitting a patient on suicide watch in the hospital and an insane man pushed an Asian woman in front of an oncoming train in a subway in New York and killed her. WTF, people? You suck!

Emily Hernandez, famous for being the dumb ass who pulled Nancy Pelosi’s name plaque off of her door inside the Capitol during the insurrection and then smashing it to pieces, is going to spend way more time in jail after she got shit faced drunk and drove. She was speeding down the wrong side of the road when she crashed head on to another car, killing one person (a mother of two) and putting another (the dad) in intensive care. Two kids have lost their mom and stand to lose their dad because Emily Hernandez is a dangerous, ignorant fool. Emily Hernandez sucks.

Too many people in America suck. Don’t be one of them.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.