Perpetrators Walk of Shame

Spike Dolomite
3 min readAug 16, 2023

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Trump announced he’s going to hold a press conference next Monday at 11 a.m. to release a report that proves that the election in Georgia was rigged. It’s a big beautiful report. The most beautiful report you’ve ever seen. It’s probably a binder full of blank paper like his healthcare plan.

Everything Trump says next Monday at 11 a.m. will be admissible in all of his criminal and civil cases.

Governor Brian Kemp responded to Trump, “The 2020 election in Georgia was not stolen. For nearly three years now, anyone with evidence of fraud has failed to come forward — under oath — and prove anything in a court of law. Our elections in Georgia are secure, accessible, and fair and will continue to be as long as I am governor. The future of our country is at stake in 2024 and that must be our focus.”

Trump’s legal team busted into voting machines in Coffee County, Georgia. Prosecutors have texts and emails that prove voting system breaches.

The grand jurors’ names are public now because they were included in the Trump indictment so MAGAs are threatening to show up outside their houses in Georgia.

The morning after Trump had been indicted in Fulton County he posted that 19 people had been “indicated.”

All 19 members of Trump’s criminal racketeering enterprise have to appear at the jail to be processed, not the courthouse this time. Their mug shots will be taken along with their weight and height. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Everybody is going to find out how much Trump weighs and how tall he is without high heels.

If any of them screw up and have to spend any time in the Fulton County Jail, they will totally freak out for it’s a real shithole. Literally. Toilets are overflowing, sewage is seeping through cracks in the walls and floor, trash is everywhere, doors are hanging from their hinges. The local news just did an expose on the conditions of the facility. One inmate died from bug bites.

Think about it. There is an outstanding arrest warrant for the leading candidate for the Republican nomination for the president of the United States.

Trump is facing 712 years in prison.

Trump is being sued for wrongful death of Officer Brian Sicknick for $10 million by his longtime girlfriend. He’s asking for it to be paused while he deals with the January 6 federal case.

Georgia Congresswench Marjorie Taylor Greene says prosecutors should be going after rapists. Um.

Mark Meadows, one of the Voteen Nineteen, has filed to shift his case to federal court. He’s going to say as a federal employee he was just doing what his boss told him to do. He’s hoping the feds will go easier on him.

Trump won’t pay for Jenna Ellis’ legal defense because she likes DeSantis. So her attorney set up a “Keep Jenna Out of Jail” legal defense fund. Jenna’s legacy will be trying to overthrow democracy and getting farted on by Rudy.

Meet the Indicted: Kanye West and R. Kelly’s publicist, Trevian Kutti, was one of the Voteen Nineteen. She scared the crap out of Ruby Freeman and her daughter Shaye Moss when she tricked them into meeting her at the police station and told them that they had evidence of them stealing ballots, that they should just confess, and that they needed police protection. She has been charged with a RICO violation, influencing witnesses, and conspiracy to commit solicitation of false statements and writings. Stephen Cliffgard Lee also tried to pressure Ruby Freeman into saying she witnessed election fraud. He showed up at her house and scared her to death (she ended up moving out of her house she was so afraid). He’s a public relations executive/minister/police chaplain.

Jack Smith is taking a very fast and narrow approach to get Trump tried and convicted fast. Fanni Willis is taking a much broader approach which is going to bring out much more of the story.

There is no discreet back entrance to the Fulton County Jail like at the courthouses. Trump and the rest of his criminal racketeering enterprise will get a perp walk with no red carpet.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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