Pizzagaetz

Spike Dolomite
5 min readMar 31, 2021

--

Matt Gaetz, one of the most obnoxious Republiqans in Congress, the 38 year old frat boy with a drunk driving arrest record, says he is being set up by haters who are trying to extort money from him and his family in exchange for them not saying anything about him having sex with minors. He told Tucker Carlson that right after the New York Times broke a story that he’s under investigation for sex trafficking at least one minor. He had a 17 year old “girlfriend” who he flew across state lines which is a felony. The DOJ has been investigating him for several months, since before Biden was president. It’s against the law to take a minor across state lines to have sex with them, especially if they were given anything of value in return. Plane tickets and hotel rooms count. He was 36 at the time. What the hell is a 36 year old man doing with a 17 year old “girlfriend?” He never denied it. He says he’s just a really good boyfriend, picking up the tab for dates. He really incriminated himself when he offered up juicy new information like his extorters say they have pictures of him with child prostitutes. He tried to rope Tucker into the story by saying he and his wife have been out to dinner with him and his girlfriends plus Tucker knows what it’s like to be accused of sexual assault. “They said that Joe Biden would pardon me but obviously I don’t need a pardon.” Say what? Matt knew the news was going to break because he tried getting out in front of it by telling people that he was thinking about leaving Congress to take a job with Newsmax.

“So I guess the real reason that Gaetz was thinking of resigning was so he could spend more time with Roy Moore.” — Robert Schlesinger

Republiqan hypocrite fun fact: QAnon believers think that Democrats are pedophiles and that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex trafficking ring out of a pizza parlor. It was commonly known as Pizzagate.

In 2017, Matt Gaetz was the only member of Congress to vote against a law that gave the federal government more power and money to fight human trafficking. He’s also part of a broader investigation into another sex trafficking case where one of his political partying buddies, Joel Greenberg, a former tax collector in Seminole County, Florida, who is in jail right now for a whole lot of mind blowing crimes where he used his position to rip off the government, buy lots of guns, and run an illegal business out of his government office which included making fake IDs for himself and his sex crime victims using personal information of unsuspecting county residents. #pizzagaetz

Matt Gaetz is on the House Judiciary Committee which oversees the investigation into him.

Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s accomplice, has finally been charged with sex-trafficking.

One of the many federal lawsuits against Jeffrey Epstein was by a woman who had been repeatedly raped by both Epstein and Maxwell, sometimes in front of her 8 year old son. She’s a former South Florida real estate broker and was forced to have sex with a local judge and was threatened to be thrown to the alligators if she told anyone.

The second day of the Derek Chauvin trial ended with witnesses saying that they felt helpless watching the police murder George Floyd in broad daylight. Two of them called the cops on the cops. One of the witnesses was only 9 years old. The defense is trying to place blame on the witnesses for distracting the cops because they were yelling at them to stop killing him.

A black man who had been convicted for killing his own mother 19 years ago beat the crap out of a 65 year old Asian woman on the street in Hell’s Kitchen, a very white part of New York City, yelling at her that she didn’t belong here. Nobody helped her.

Fox News’ Peter Navarro called the coronavirus “Fauci Virus,” and that he was the “father of the virus.” He accused him of allowing China and the People’s Liberation Army to “genetically engineer” the coronavirus.

Republiqans don’t have any comments on Asian American hate crimes, cops killing black people, or one of their own being accused of sex trafficking. No, today’s GQP outrage is government issued dystopian “covid passports”. It’s like a microchip only worse. You can’t refuse to get vaccinated, wear a mask, and stay home and then be denied access to other countries who don’t want you spreading a deadly disease that they’re trying to eradicate. Can you believe it? Government over reach! FREEDUMB!!!!

Marjorie Taylor Greene says that a vaccine passport is “Biden’s mark of the beast” and that any company the requires one is engaging in “corporate communism.”

Lauren Boebert tweeted: Vaccine passports are meant to control what you can do, where you can go and how much the government can know about your activities. Privacy is a right.

The Libertarian Party of Kentucky tweeted: Are the vaccine passports going to be yellow, shaped like a star, and sewn on our clothes?

Rand Paul is a Kentucky Libertarian. These white guys all believe that even though they drive on government built and maintained roads, get educated in government funded schools, are protected by government funded military and emergency services, that everything they have is because they achieved it themselves and that government can’t tell them what to do or make them pay taxes.

Does that include having sex with children?

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.

--

--

Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

No responses yet