Play Ball

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJul 28, 2020

Trump said that the Yankees invited him to throw out the first pitch on August 15. The Yankees did no such thing. Trump cancelled without ever being invited.

Joe Biden was invited to throw out the first pitch for the Baltimore Orioles/New York Yankees game in 2009.

It’s been a week since baseball season started and games are already getting cancelled because players have tested positive for the coronavirus.

Trump was the captain of his high school baseball team. He says he was supposed to be a professional baseball player but opted for dysfunctional family real estate instead.

“Sports are the reward for a functioning society” — Sean Doolittle

South Koreans get to go to baseball games because they have a functioning society and Trump isn’t their president.

Trump blew off paying his respects to Congressman John Lewis laying in state at the US Capitol which is just as well because nobody would have invited him anyway.

When Trump was asked about his National Security Adviser Robert O’Brien being in quarantine he acted like he didn’t know the guy. Who invited all these reporters to ask me questions? Get out!

Bill Barr is testifying before Congress today to answer for himself. Dems have been practicing how they’re going to cram a year of crises into 5 hours: Barr’s handling of the Mueller report, firing US attorneys, Secret Police attacking protesters in DC and Portland, Trump’s pardons, punishing whistleblowers, getting involved in the Roger Stone and Michael Flynn cases, and retaliating against Michael Cohen and putting him back in jail for wanting to talk to reporters and writing a book about Trump.

Bill Barr has been invited to testify before Congress before but he blew it off. He needs to answer for that, too.

The Postmaster General is telling supervisors to tell employees to let the mail pile up so Trump and the Republicans can sabotage mail in voting.

Trump’s trying to scare the crap out of white suburbia by telling them that the anarchists rioting in the city streets are headed their way, only white moms are singing lullabies and dads are in the streets with leaf blowers, creating walls with their bodies to protect the “anarchists” — their kids. It doesn’t get any more suburban than that.

Fox News is trying to scare the crap out of white suburbia too. Laura Ingraham said, “Stop calling them protesters. They’re violent revolutionaries trying to overthrow our government.”

Trump tweet: The Fake News Media is trying to portray the Portland and Seattle “protesters” as wonderful, sweet and innocent people just out for a little stroll. Actually, they are sick and deranged Anarchists & Agitators who our great men & women of Law Enforcement easily control, but who would destroy our American cities, and worse, if Sleepy Joe Biden, the puppet of the Left, ever won. Markets would crash and cities would burn. Our Country would suffer like never before. We will beat the Virus, soon, and go on to the Golden Age — better than ever before!

“If America saw what America is doing in America, America would invade America to liberate America from the tyranny of America.” — Mohamad Safa

150,000 are dead now from the Trump Plague. That’s 10,000 more deaths than those who died in combat in Afghanistan, Iraq, Vietnam, Korea, and WWI COMBINED.

Trump calls himself a wartime president. His war is on the American people and democracy.

The mayor of Portland called for a cease fire with the federal government.

98 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.