Please Love Me
Trump lied about reading his own son’s book. Who wouldn’t read their own son’s book? Trump. Trump wouldn’t.
No matter. Trump went ahead and reviewed Junior’s book on Twitter anyway, just like he has so many other books he’s never read: Just finished reading my son Donald’s just out new book, “Triggered.” It is really good! He, along with many of us, was very unfairly treated. But we all fight back, and we always win!
Pranksters are going into bookstores and replacing Junior’s “Triggered” book cover with “Daddy Please Love Me” covers.
“It’s almost kind of tragically sad, a son willing to repeatedly humiliate himself in order to win the love of a father who is incapable of loving him, but then you realize it’s Donald Trump Jr. and you laugh, because seriously, fuck that guy” — Jeff Tiedrich
Trump didn’t get booed at the Alabama/Louisiana college game which shows just how far behind the millennials in the deep south are from their contemporaries in the rest of the country. They gave him the applause he was craving. The crowd was pretty white, not many potential black voters there. There were 4 however, who jumped up in the crowd with 3 of their white friends wearing t-shirts that spelled out, IMPEACH.
The Baby Trump balloon that travels around the world to protest Trump was at the football game and got attacked by a red neck with a knife. He got charged with criminal mischief. He set up a redneck GoFundMe to pay for his criminal defense legal fees. Leave it to southern rednecks to pick a fight with a giant baby balloon and lose.
Speaking of losing, the University of Alabama lost. It was their first loss of the season and their first home loss in 31 games. Instant karma got them. That’s what you get for loving Trump. You lose.
The first thing Trump did after leaving the game was post a video of the crowd cheering for HIM.
Trump will be spending more time in the south because he loves the uneducated, even the educated ones who go to college because they hate the same people he hates. A Manhattan Yankee billionaire is the president of the confederacy. If the hat fits, wear it.
Watch Alabama erect statues of Trump after he’s impeached and march through the streets carrying tiki torches to defend Trump statues like they do Robert E. Lee. Alabama has a thing about revering losers.
Speaking of Alabama revering losers — Jeff Sessions released his first campaign video wherein he compliments Trump.
Trump posted 82 tweets or retweets and flew 1,600 miles roundtrip to a football game. That’s it. That’s all he did yesterday.
John Bolton just signed a deal with Simon and Schuster. He’ll talk, but it will cost you.
The Trump campaign has held at least 15 online contests in which Trump promised the winner that they would get to eat with him. All they had to do to enter was donate to his campaign. NOBODY has ever won.
“Tonight, on the exit ramp, I helped a man change his tire. He had his MAGA hat and a Trump2020 bumper sticker. I didn’t care. He’s someone in need. We’re all human. Did I then give the wrong directions taking him 20 miles west of his destination? You’re goddamn right I did.” — Toby Morton
A woman endured 30 minutes of sitting next to right wing nut jobs Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin McInnes in a restaurant in Washington DC and couldn’t take it anymore so she got up and poured water over their heads on her way out. They both shrugged it off as a grumpy feminist pouring drinks on them. Milo posted the video on his Telegram account. He couldn’t post it to Instagram, Twitter or Facebook because he’s been kicked off of all three.
House Republicans are plotting to turn the impeachment hearings this week into a Hunter Biden and whistleblower trial. They want both of them to testify. It’s their only hope of turning the impeachment into a Republican shit show show down.
“When you can’t tell if it’s seasonal depression or Trump related depression that’s called treasonal depression.” — The Volatile Mermaid
For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.
For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.
For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.
For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.
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