Political Theatre

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJul 18, 2024

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Now that JD Vance got the part for VP, all the others who auditioned for the role are at the convention, auditioning for new roles.

Auditions for VP took place at the courthouse in Manhattan when Trump went on trial for fraud and election interference. All of the contenders showed up in costume (blue suits and red ties) and stood behind him when he talked shit to the media before entering the courthouse. Afterwards they’d give their own press conferences, hoping to catch the attention of the director and producer of Trump’s latest reality show, “Running for President 2.”

Nobody should want the VP part, but those who auditioned and lost are just as greedy and corrupt as Trump is and they are willing to ignore that Trump almost got his former VP killed and take their chances.

Last night JD Vance accepted the nomination for Vice President. His wife, Usha Vance introduced him and gave a speech. She’s very intelligent, well spoken, highly educated and accomplished. She could easily be mistaken for a Democrat, especially since she’s brown. The white nationalist party has just nominated a racist fascist to be Trump’s running mate. His wife is a Hindu with immigrant parents. How is it possible that Vance got this part? MAGA hates everybody who isn’t white. It’s a white nationalist party, out and proud. Will they try and keep her out of frame whenever she’s standing next to Vance on camera? Not only is she not white, but she’s a working mom and her husband supposedly believes that all women should be strapped to the home with a bunch of kids that weren’t planned.

In JD Vance’s autobiography, Hillbilly Elegy (which was made into a movie starring Glenn Close), Vance said he got a free ride to Yale because he was poor. In his speech he said he left school $120,000 in debt. That’s a big fat lie. In his book he wrote, “Yet the financial aid package Yale offered exceeded my wildest dreams. In my first year, it was nearly a full ride. That wasn’t because of anything I’d done or earned — it was because I was one of the poorest kids in school. Yale offered tens of thousands in need-based aid. It was the first time being so broke paid so well. Yale wasn’t just my dream school; it was also the cheapest option on the table.” Now that he has all this power he gets to exercise it with “I got mine, to hell with yours.”

A posse of GOP senators chased the Secret Service director, Kimberly Cheatle, on the floor of the convention, yelling at her about the assassination attempt on Trump, cameras in tow.

Junior posted a video of himself in the make up chair next to his 17 year old daughter. They were getting stage make up put on. He said he wanted to be made to look sexy like his daughter. Who says that? Trump men. Like father like son (and daughter).

Matt Gaetz gave a ridiculous speech and was heavily made up. He over did it with the Botox and looked more like he was in a Vegas act.

Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign manager was there. He’d still be in prison if Trump hadn’t pardoned him. Now he gets free tickets to Trump’s greatest shit show on earth.

The underlying theme of the week is God saved Trump from an assassination attempt. He is the chosen one. MAGAs are walking around feeling close to God, their God.

Assassination attempt fun fact: Ronald Reagan got shot. He was an actor before a politician. He seduced voters with the character he created, Ronald Reagan the Republican Superstar. People totally bought it and ended up calling him a saint. Never mind that he was a shitty B actor and used to be a Democrat and the head of a union (SAG). He was a good actor when it came to convincing people he was a good politician. Trump is a reality TV star who is a horrible actor, just like Reagan, but he’s a horrible politician and everybody knows it. They don’t care.

Trump is going to accept the party nomination tonight and he will surely put on quite a show.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.