Congressman Jerry Nadler: “The gentleman, the gentleman, the gentleman, the gentleman will suspend. The gentleman, the gentleman, the gentleman will suspend.”

Republicans: “Point of order! Point of order! Ooo Ooooo Eeeee Eeee!”

That pretty much sums up the House Judiciary Committee’s second open impeachment hearing. The Democrats brought reputable witnesses and facts and the Republicans threw poop. For people who follow the news closely, nothing new was revealed, but it was important because it framed the case for impeachment for people who are just tuning in.

The Democrats’ attorneys kept things simple, laying out how Trump directed a plot to pressure Ukraine for political investigations and used the power of the presidency to do it. He exploited tools and resources of his office as leverage. Everyone was in the loop. And he’s continuing to do it right in our faces today. He is selling out our country for his own personal gain.

The most obnoxious members of the freedom caucus (thanks a lot tea party voters of 2009….look what you did) are on this committee. The leader is Doug Collins, a really bad actor in a gorilla costume. Where did he get his guerilla acting experience? As the senior pastor at Chicopee Baptist Church from 1994 to 2005. He threw poop at congregants for 11 years and they not only caught it, they ate it. He thinks the folks at home watching on TV are eating it too. Hopefully enough of them will figure out he’s a bad actor in a gorilla suit.

After claiming that the Democrats have been trying to impeach Trump since his first day in office, idiot Louie Gohmert smeared poop all over himself and said that they’ll impeach Joe Biden if he’s elected, “We’ve already got the forms!”

Republicans who are smarter than Louie started throwing poop up in the air to take the attention off of Louie, but it didn’t work. People were like OH MY GOD THE REPUBLICANS ARE BABOONS!

Trump watched the hearing on TV sitting in his underwear all alone in his room. He retweeted the photoshopped image of his head on Rocky’s body again along with 100 other tweets. He’s obsessed.

Alan Dershowitz watched in his room too, but he kept his underwear on.

Republican counsel Steve Castor walked in to the hearing room with his files in a big grocery bag.

Who in the world would take this case on for the Republicans? What kind of lawyer would accept the offer to represent the Republicans in Trump’s impeachment inquiry? The type who would show up to an impeachment hearing with a grocery bag filled with files as if he was my Cousin Ninny.

The Republicans tried to block and sabotage EVERYTHING, even a recess. They all needed to go to the bathroom really bad but they blocked themselves from going because that’s how dumb they are. They really had to poop.

Cousin Ninny’s bag of tricks wasn’t much help. The Democrats ate everything in his grocery bag.

Ninny come poop. My bowels are jumping.

“Let’s just cut through all the Republican arguments today and make things very simple: No one else in America could do what Donald Trump did and get away with it.” — Congressman Ted Lieu

While the impeachment hearing was going on the US Justice Department’s inspector general report on the Russia investigation was released. It said that the overall investigation was justified and not at all politically motivated. Republicans, Trump and Bill Barr are spinning it to say the exact opposite and since the Republican base doesn’t read or question what they’re told, they know they’ll believe it. FBI Director Chris Wray defended the IG report saying everything was on the up and up so he’ll probably get fired. James Comey was scheduled to go on Fox News but was canceled soon after the report was released.

Bill Barr is throwing the FBI under the bus. He has used his office to subvert investigations, obstruct Congress and cover up Trump’s crimes. He needs to be impeached too. He’s not the people’s attorney, he’s Trump’s attorney and he’s so full of shit the Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee fill their grocery bags with it.

Trump’s other attorney, Rudy Giuliani, who does not work for the government, nor does he get paid by Trump, said he will transmit a “report” based on his recent visit to Ukraine to Bill Barr and the Republicans in Congress by the end of this week. Bill Barr will surely give Rudy’s “report” more credibility than his own justice department’s report.

Trump has invited the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergey Lavrov, to the White House today. The press isn’t invited, just like the last time Lavrov came to the White House. Before they met in secret Trump bragged about firing Comey on camera. Sergey Lavrov stroked him and told him his shit didn’t stink. That’s all they have to do.

House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerry Nadler announced the Articles of Impeachment this morning. They are obstruction of Congress and abuse of power. The committe is expected to vote on them in two days and then a full House floor vote to formally Impeach Trump is expected next week. The Senate trial to convict and remove Trump should be in January.

Expect 100 more tweets today.

Trump going to have the Hershey squirts tonight when he does his rally in Hershey, PA. He better wear a diaper.

For a copy of the Trump-Ukraine Impeachment Inquiry Report, click here.

For a copy of the Mueller Report, click here.

For a list of attorneys giving legal analysis about the imploding Trump presidency on Twitter, click here.

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.