President of the Confederacy

The Trump campaign sent a letter to CNN demanding that they apologize for their poll showing Joe Biden leading. CNN’s general counsel responded by telling Trump to go fuck himself. “To my knowledge, this is the first time in its 40 year history that CNN had been threatened with legal action because an American politician or campaign did not like CNN’s polling results.”

Republicans are confident that Trump will win reelection and they will hold the majority. That’s their talking point this week.

Did you know? The 75 year old Buffalo protester who got knocked to the ground by cops and is still in the hospital is an Antifa provocateur. George Soros is funding Antifa. Those people going through your recyclables in the morning on trash day? Antifa. Grocery carts left in parking spaces? Antifa. Suspicious looking guy in a black sweatshirt walking down your street? Antifa. Antifa is here and is going to install Sharia law and kill everyone who isn’t Antifa with the coronavirus vaccine which is made up of ground up fetuses.

“Now that we clearly see Antifa as terrorists, can we hunt them down like we do those in the Middle East?” — Matt Gaetz

NASCAR issued a formal statement saying no more confederate flags. This has pissed the confederacy and their president off.

Nancy Pelosi has called for 11 statues of confederate soldiers and officials to be removed from the US Capitol. “Monuments to men who advocated cruelty and barbarism to achieve such a plainly racist end are a grotesque affront to these ideals. Their statues pay homage to hate, not heritage. They must be removed.”

Ted Cruz is calling the people who tore down the Christopher Columbus statue outside the Minnesota capitol the American Taliban.

Trump’s drunk economic adviser Larry Kudlow said several times because he says everything several times, “I don’t believe nowadays we have systemic racism.” Let your confederate freak flag fly, Larry!

“HUGE news: The NASDAQ hit an all-time record high, closing over 10,000 for the first time ever! America is roaring back to life!” — Mike Pence

America isn’t roaring back to life. 1,000 people are dying every day from the Trump Plague and 40 million are unemployed. The game is rigged, rich white men are cashing in, and Trump and Pence are bragging about it.

People want to change the names of military bases that have been named after confederate generals to anything but confederate generals. As he did with Charlottesville, Trump has praised the confederacy and released this statement: “My administration will not even consider the renaming of these magnificent and fabled military installations. Our history as the greatest nation in the world will not be tampered with. Respect our military.”

Trump had an Uncle Tom round table meeting for the media where black supporters took turns praising him. They all told him that his presidency has been nothing shorts of historical for all that he has done for the black community. The issue is his historical breakthrough accomplishments have not been covered by the media. Token black Republican political consultant, Raynard Jackson, said CNN’s Don Lemon and MSNBC’s Joy Reid have put “more poison into the black community than any drug dealer” and have “killed more black folks than any white person with a sheet over their face.” When the roundtable was over, Trump’s aides frantically SCREAMED at the press to leave, “LET’S GO!” They were afraid someone would ask Trump a question which is the last thing his handlers want.

Coronavirus count to date: 2,002,229. Coronavirus deaths: 113,344 deaths. That’s a 5.6% death rate.

Republicans are blaming the rise in coronavirus cases on the protests and Antifa.

Trump’s pandemic task force has only met 3 times in the past month. Trump is bored with the coronavirus. Besides, it’s bad for ratings. He wants to do MAGA rallies.

Trump has decided to hold his first MAGA rally in months in Tulsa, Oklahoma on June 19 (Juneteenth — the commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States), at the site of the Tulsa race massacre in 1921 where 35 square blocks of black neighborhoods and businesses were burned from the ground and air by the city and a white mob people seeking to destroy “Black Wall Street”, the wealthiest black community in the US. The massacre was omitted from history until 10 years ago.

Trump is going to Dallas Texas tomorrow to talk about race relations.

“Today is the day that Donald Trump became president of the Confederacy.” — Jeff Tiedrich

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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