Prime Time Crime

Spike Dolomite
4 min readJan 13, 2023

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Attorney General Merrick Garland appointed former US Attorney Robert Hur as special counsel to probe discovery of documents that were from his time in the Obama Administration that were found in Joe Biden’s former office and home. Republicans are going to hammer this to a freaking pulp because it plays right into their plan to impeach him. The dumb ones think they’ve really got something on him but the smart ones (who are even more dangerous than the dumb ones because they know better but go along with the devil) know that Biden being in possession of classified docs (that he was most likely unaware of), is not the same thing as Trump having classified docs in a desk drawer in his office at Mar-a-Lago, many of which were empty folders with nothing inside. The crime is not possession. It is intent, use of docs, and refusing to cooperate with authorities by not returning them. Biden and his attorneys are cooperating fully. Trump never did. He lied about having them, he hid them, he had others lie for him, he refused to give them back so a warrant was served and the FBI took what they could find which wasn’t all of them. Trump kept lying. The crime is obstruction of justice, not possession. It’s not the same thing.

Fox is telling its audience that Biden being in possession of classified documents and Trump being in possession of classified documents is the exact same thing. Lara Trump said, “Joe Biden arguably has done something far worse than anything Donald Trump was ever accused of doing.”

Here we go. The Biden classified documents case is Hillary’s email server all over again. But what about Hur emails?

Special Counsel Jack Smith issued a bunch of new subpoenas in December for 12 different categories. He’s looking at the money trail and wants to know more about the election defense fund that Trump created the day after the election where he ripped people off by asking them to donate to this legal fund to help him fight everybody who conspired to steal the election from him (there was no such fund — he used all of the money for himself). He also wants to know who fundraised and paid for the costs of the Stop the Steal rally including bussing thousands of people into DC to “stop the steal”, and what’s going on with the various super PACs that Trump and the Republicans created and oversee. In addition, Jack Smith subpoenaed a bunch of fake electors, too.

A judge sentenced the Trump Organization to pay a $1.6 million penalty for tax fraud (the maximum penalty) within 2 weeks. 75 year old CFO Allen Weisselberg was sentenced to 5 months at Rikers Island jail for 15 years of tax fraud. This is rich white man justice — he only got 5 months which will amount to about 100 days. He pleaded guilty to 15 felonies in exchange for a light sentence. He didn’t get time in rich man jail, though, where you can play croquet and drink espresso that you make yourself because you don’t have to sit in your comfortable “cell” all day. He has to do his time in one of the worst and most dangerous prisons in the country. The judge said that he would have given him more after hearing all the facts throughout the trial. He specifically mentioned how despicable it was that he put his wife on the payroll for $6,000 a month just so she could pay into Social Security and collect on it later. The judge was disgusted given that millions are fearing the possible loss of Social Security for themselves and are counting on it and really need it. Weisselberg got out of paying payroll taxes by accepting perks like brand new cars, free rent in luxury Trump properties, new furniture, and tuition for his grand kids ($100,000 a year). This not only benefitted him, but it benefited the Trump Organization because it lessened their payroll tax liability. Weisselberg still faces federal tax evasion charges. If found guilty, he will get to go to Club Fed.

Kevin McCarthy is looking at expunging one of Trump’s impeachments. He slandered Democrat Eric Swalwell as well. He put 12 Republicans who voted to overturn the election in charge of committees and then said of Eric Swalwell, a former prosecutor who was one of the managers on the second impeachment team, “If you got the briefing that I got from the FBI, you wouldn’t have Swalwell on any committee.”

The 12 Republicans who McCarthy gave chair assignments to (12 out of 20 committees) who voted to overturn the election are: Glenn Thompson, Mike Rogers, Jodey Arrington, Virginia Foxx, Mark Green, Jim Jordan, Frank Lucas, Roger Williams, Sam Graves, Mike Bost, Jason Smith, and Michael Guest. Token black guy Byron Donalds didn’t get to be a chair, even after he was put up as an alternative to McCarthy for Speaker.

Even though George Santos is under several investigations and has been called upon to resign, Kevin McCarthy is standing behind him and will give him committee assignments which is a national security risk since nobody knows who he really is. No matter. Santos is to McCarthy as McCarthy is to Trump. He needs him.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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