Spike Dolomite
4 min readApr 27, 2021

Tomorrow night will be the first time that an American president addresses a joint session of Congress where the 2 most powerful people in government after the president are sitting behind him and they are women.


The address tomorrow night is invitation only. Covid is going to keep the lunatics out and for the first time ever there will be an interpreter for the deaf. Progress!

Republikkkans have picked Senator Tim Scott, the only black Republican in the Senate, to deliver the GOP response after President Biden makes his address. Progress? HA HA HA HA HA! They couldn’t be more obvious. We’re not racist! See? We have a black guy!

Finally, some progress on the “what are we going to do about the idiot MAGAs who refuse to get vaccinated” front — Trump told them that it’s cool to get vaccinated because he made it happen. “I’m all in favor of the vaccine. It’s one of the great achievements, a true miracle, and not only for the United States. We’re saving tens of millions of lives throughout the world. We’re saving entire countries.”

President Biden has surpassed his vaccination goals twice which has put the US back on top for leading the world again. The US has gone from being the worst to the best for covid response. Biden is sending 60 million doses of AstraZeneca, a vaccine that hasn’t been used in the US yet because it hasn’t been approved by the FDA, to India because they’ve been using it there and they really need it. He is also going to share raw materials for the production of the AstraZeneca vaccine with them. We’re making rapid progress at home and abroad because of Joe Biden’s leadership.

President Biden has officially recognized the killing of more than a million Armenians by Ottoman Turks more than a century ago as genocide. This is huge. It is progress that no other president has been willing to make.

A House panel advanced a bill that would study reparations for slavery. This is huge, too. America has been sweeping this under the rug since before America was an actual country. Progress! Thanks, Democrats!

Press Secretary Jen Psaki started a new tradition to let local reporters around the country “dial in” to attend press briefings and ask questions — “Skype seats.” Progress! This brings the White House into local communities and pops the DC insider bubble.

AG Merrick Garland announced that the DOJ will be investigating the Louisville Police Department 13 months after the cops barged into Breonna Taylor’s house and killed her in her sleep. It’s progress, but it’s infuriating, unjust, revolting progress.

500,000 super rich people (.32% of the population) will pay more taxes on money they never earned Those who make more than $1 million will pay taxes on capital gains. The revenue generated can go towards paying for things like universal child card and paid family leave so those of us who actually work for our money won’t have to work ourselves to death paying for things to allow us to work. Woo hoo! Progress!

Biden’s DOJ is considering charging Derek Chauvin for holding a Black teen down with his knee for nearly 17 minutes in 2017. Quite a contrast to Trump’s DOJ where he used the department as his personal legal team and to punish his political enemies. Perverted progress.

Former Republican senator from Pennsylvania and CNN talking head Rick Santorum was caught on camera speaking at some right wing perverted event where he actually said, “We birthed a nation from nothing. I mean, there was nothing here. I mean, yes we have Native Americans but candidly there isn’t much Native American culture in American culture.” This is worse than when he was running for president and he told a crowd, on camera, that Democrats take their money and give it to bla- people. He blew up the internet yesterday. People were pissed. CNN has not fired him. That is NOT progress.

The GQP has gotten so shitty that scumbag Trump loving repug Doug Collins is throwing in the towel and calling it quits. He’s getting out of politics. He’s as low as they go and he’s out. Progress! The GQP is melting!

Ever since Reagan, when the repugs demonized Democrats by making the word “liberal” synonymous with killing babies, worshipping Satan, and spreading venereal disease by simply breathing from all the orgies they indulged in, Dems have been really careful not to use the word. It’s a great word! It means willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one’s own; open to new ideas — a political and social philosophy that promotes individual rights, civil liberties, democracy, and free enterprise. Nevertheless, the repugs turned it into a dirty word so the Dems went with “progressive” instead. Since Trump, they have taken the word back. Democrats are liberal and proud of it. Progress!

Support the Daily Crime Report on Patreon!

For the best journalists to follow on Twitter, click here.

For straight news, check out these reliable sources on Twitter.

The Daily Crime Reports are being published as “quarterly reports” (three month groups) as part of “The Treason Chronicles” on Amazon for Kindle. To purchase one or more quarters, click here.



Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.