Q Tips

Spike Dolomite
4 min readFeb 4, 2021

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Qevin McCarthy had the nerve to tweet this: When a violent mob desecrated the Capitol, Officer Sicknick met it with bravery, devotion, and unmatched courage. His heroism not only helped save lives, it valiantly protected every American’s way of life. Congress and the entire nation owe him a debt of gratitude.

A debt of gratitude? Congress owes him JUSTICE! All of the Republiqan members of Congress who had a hand in whipping the mob up to the point that QAnon weirdos would actually show up at the Capitol and act out their fantasies and kill Officer Sicknick should face justice, starting with Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and yes, Qevin McCarthy, the leader of the GOP who is defending them all.

Qevin McCarthy is defending Marjorie Taylor Greene and has refused to take Marjorie Taylor Greene off of the committees he negligently put her on so the Democrats have taken charge and will make Republiqans go on record for whether or not they support her by making them vote today.

Qevin McCarthy wants us all to believe that he doesn’t know anything about QAnon. #QevinMcQarthy

Qevin McCarthy has made the Republiqan party more of a big tent party. “Big tent” now means kooks and criminals welcome.

“The republican party doesn’t want to lose the QAnons, because anyone who believes in Jewish space lasers and JFK Jr coming back can be squeezed for big cash indefinitely.” — Brooklyn Dad Defiant

Machine Gun Barbie Lauren Boebert is ready to take AOC on for making something out of nothing and she said so on Fox News from inside the US Capitol where AOC was almost murdered.

Fox News gave AOC an award for “Best Actress in a Political Drama.”

“Everything that I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real, because it only means America is getting stronger and better, and people are returning to conservative values, and that’s what I am for… if this is real, then it could be really great for our country.” — Lauren Boebert

Liz Cheney is being hung up to dry by the extreme right Republiqans which is really saying something because she’s pretty far right. They voted on whether or not to strip Liz Cheney of her leadership status by secret ballot last night which means she prevailed. The vote was 145 to 61. Chicken shits. They wouldn’t have voted no if they couldn’t have been anonymous. The ones who voted yes gave Qongresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene a standing ovation.

Irony of all ironies. The misogynist sexist GOP, which has always been dominated by white men, is in such chaos that two blonde women have emerged as the 2 faces of the party — Who’s Your Daddy Liz Cheney on one side and Annie Hoax Oakley Marjorie Taylor Greene on the other.

Gym Jordan tweeted: The Republican Party is no longer the “wine and cheese” party. It’s the beer and blue jeans party.

Nope. The GOP is the Diet Coke and Big Mac party and the people who vote for Republiqans are Saccharin and Cheap Meat.

Governor of South Dakota Kristi Noem pulled a Trump and went on TV to tell her own Big Lie…. South Dakota got through the pandemic better than anybody. Nope. Her state was ranked one of the worst for the most infections and deaths.

The US has surpassed the 450,000 death count mark. President Biden hasn’t lied about it. He admits that the US ranks at the bottom for infections and deaths. All because of The Big Lie.

Joe Biden might not be popular with everybody but how he and the Dems are handling the pandemic is wildly popular with 70% of the population. The public supports their relief bill AND a $15 minimum wage.

Mitch McConnell wouldn’t even let the Senate vote on the House relief bill. He let Americans suffer and die.

Joe Manchin, the least Democrat of all the Democrats, supports the Democrats’ $1.9 trillion relief bill, most likely because the governor of his state, Jim Justice of West Virginia (a billionaire, the richest man in the state, and the least Republican of the Republicans,) wants the relief and he wants it NOW. He wants Biden to “go big.”

QAnon weirdos really believed that by overtaking the Capitol they were issuing in “The Storm” and Trump would arrest and execute his political opponents. These domestic terrorists have representation in Congress.

Republicans tipped the Qs off from inside the US Capitol.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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