Quiet as a Church Mouse

It’s Sunday morning in America and the president who never goes to church, prays, or cares one whit about Christianity other than conning believers into voting for him just tweeted this: Happy Sunday! We want GOD!

The Third Lady ripped out all of the roses in the White House rose garden because she never promised anybody no fucking rose garden.

Mary Trump secretly recorded relatives and released a tape of Trump’s older sister and former federal judge, Maryanne, talking shit about Trump. Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, is on the Sunday morning shows right now trying to play it all down. His response to what she said about someone else taking Trump’s SATs was, “He reads more than probably anybody I know.” It’s Sunday morning before the RNC. He forgot to say how much Trump reads the Bible. He even has a selfie of himself with one in front of a burned church! Now Mark will probably get fired.

The Republican National Convention starts tomorrow and the goobers at the RNC and Trump’s campaign are still scrambling to pull it all together. So far the speakers are all members of the Trump crime family. Even Tiffany who Trump never mentions except during election season. Never mind that she’s the unwanted child of baby mama #2. His voters don’t care that he has had 3 families or that he doesn’t care about his kids because they don’t either.

Trump plans on speaking every night of the RNC. That’s unpresidented and anticlimatic and pathological as hell. That’s like Satan speaking in church for 4 straight Sundays. They can’t find any D list musicians or conservatives to perform. They have their token black man, Tim Scott, but he has been their loyal token black man all along. No news about Diamond and Silk. That may be too many black people for a racist convention. They’re trying to outdo the DNC by trying to round up “Democrats for Trump,” but they’re having some trouble. If they find anybody, that will be funny. Like Monty Python flying church funny.

How are they going to do this without an adoring, cheering, rabid, white supremacist crowd egging Trump on? Will they use an applause track? Trump is nobody without his cultists and paid actors willing to make fools of themselves. So far, with hours left to go, they’re planning on having it in a couple of locations — both federal properties which is illegal but they’re doing it anyway because everything they do is illegal. He’s a lawless president running for a second term and the Republicans are helping him do it. They may not show their faces at the RNC, but they’ll help him win. Some of the streamlined events will be held in a venue across from Trump’s hotel so Trump can profit from it and some of it will take place at the White House which is forbidden but he’s been campaigning there for years and has been getting away with it so nothing is going to stop him now. He’s invincible….more godly than the Pope.

The Goodyear blimp should hover over his stupid DC hotel all week.

Who is going to watch?

“I feel like we’re going to need designated RNC Convention Watchers for progressives. Like one person takes a night and reports back to the rest of us. And then we rotate. Like we’re taking shifts at Chernobyl so nobody gets their eyes burnt out”. — Elie Mystal

Trump watched the DNC. He tweeted right before the 4th night: To get into the Democrat National Convention, you must have an ID card with a picture…Yet the Democrats refuse to do this when it come to your very important VOTE! Gee, I wonder WHY???

Um, Mr. Pope, the DNC was virtual. The only IDs shown were the limited press who were there to cover it with a minimal crew.

Trump tweeted yesterday morning: The Democrats took the word GOD out of the Pledge of Allegiance at the Democrat National Convention. At first I thought they made a mistake, but it wasn’t. It was done on purpose. Remember Evangelical Christians, and ALL, this is where they are coming from-it’s done. Vote Nov 3!

It’s Sunday morning in America. Do you know where your “Christian” president is?

Squeak! Squeak!

72 days until we get to vote.

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Spike Dolomite

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Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.

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