If Omarosa could sneak a tape recorder into the Situation Room, one of the most secretive places in the world, then Putin could have snuck anything into the Oval Office, Trump’s bedroom, or his toilet. Whoever takes on the job as President next has got to be very experienced in government and very, very, serious about fixing what has been broken because this ongoing mess needs real experience to be fixed, not a celebrity attorney like Michael Avenatti so don’t even think about it Batman fans.

Lordy, there are tapes.

“Seems that the only person who didn’t tape Trump was President Obama” — Roland Scahill

Omarosa and Trump have the same credentials.

A few dozen white supremacists showed up to their highly publicized Unite the Right hate rally in DC. There were so few of them that the cops and media outnumbered them. Most of them covered their faces because they didn’t want to get caught on tape. They couldn’t take the chance of their bosses and moms finding out they were there. There was, however, a huge turn out of counter protesters because this is America.

Republican Congressman Tom Garrett admitted that he was told in a closed briefing that Russian meddling contributed to last year’s conflict and violence in Charlottesville.

America 2018: White supremacists are free to march outside of the White House but black athletes can’t kneel during the National Anthem.

The Sunday news shows invited media whores Michael Avenatti, Omarosa, and Kellyanne Conjob to come on their shows and talk. Democrats weren’t invited. Again.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Token black Republican Senator Tim Scott went on Face the Nation to say that Trump is taking positive steps in the right direction on race.

The White House wasn’t designed with Trump, Omarosa, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Jarvanka, and Faux News in mind.

Things are so fucked up right now that whackadoodles like Joe Walsh are making actual sense. We’re living in Putin’s Bizarro world.

Trump and his gang of reality TV stooges are swatting at breaking news like flies — using whatever comes to mind to fight back with. This makes America not great anymore.

“MAGA logic: Obama traveled back in time to stack the FBI with Democrats disguised as Republicans so that when he and Hillary conspired with the Kremlin to intentionally lose the 2016 election, Trump would get taken down” — Keith Pochick

Stephen Miller’s uncle wrote an op-ed calling his nephew out for being an immigration hypocrite. Stephen wouldn’t have ever been born were it not for chain migration. His Jewish family emigrated to America from Belarus before it declared independence from Soviet Russia, starting with one man in 1903 who came with $8 in his pocket, not knowing anybody or any English. He worked, saved money, sent for more family members who worked, saved money and sent for more family members. They went from poverty to prosperous, educated merchants, scholars, and professional citizens who have to answer for their self hating Jewish nephew who has been caught on tape being a racist, xenophobic, isolationist.

Tape worm Jared isn’t in the news much because the media is preoccupied covering Trump’s antics which keeps it off of the real story which is treason. Let’s not forget that Jared omitted over 100 foreign contacts from his security clearance application and “forgot” to disclose meetings with Russian officials. He couldn’t get the highest security clearance level but somehow he’s still a senior White House adviser. Is he recording meetings in the Situation Room too?

There is a reason why the Republicans have their mouths taped shut. They’re all blackmailed.

Fun fact: If politicians didn’t break the law they couldn’t be blackmailed.

Trump has called for bikers to boycott Harley Davidson for moving overseas. Trump is a really terrible fake biker. He should know that bikers love their Harleys more than they do their own mothers. Let’s see if they tape him to his fucking wall.

Turns out everybody in the room is a fly on Trump’s wall. They’re all taping.

The Trump tapes are going to make Nixon’s tapes look like a Fisher Price Tough Stuff karaoke tape recorder.

Roll the pee tape and let’s get this over with.

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ACTION ITEM FOR TODAY: Contact all of the Sunday morning news shows and request that they book as many Democrats as they do Republicans.

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.