Republican Cage Fight

Spike Dolomite
3 min readJun 27, 2024

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There she is……Miss America

The Supreme Court overturned the federal court’s decision in Idaho that says all abortion is illegal even if the pregnant woman is in extreme agony, fighting for her own life. It is legal and safe, at least for now, to get health care if you show up in the emergency room bleeding from an ectopic pregnancy or fevered with septic shock. Women won’t have to beg health care providers to help them only to be sent home. SCOTUS says you can get an abortion in Idaho, but only the medically urgent kind. For everybody else — too bad.

The Supreme Court also ruled that, surprise! gratuities are not bribes when it comes to public officials like Supreme Court justices, the White House can ask social media companies to monitor what gets posted during public health emergencies such as a pandemic. When it comes to conspiracy theories that threaten public health such as what happened 4 years ago with vaccines, or lies to voters about reality like in the presidential election of 2020, social media companies have the discretion to stop speech on their platforms and it’s OK for health officials to ask them to. Republicans are freaking out saying that the Supreme Court overturned the first amendment and that the president can now order social media companies to do what he says. Social media companies are private companies. The first amendment doesn’t apply to them anymore than a porn company suing a children’s book store for not selling their videos because “free speech.”

Republican state rep Neil Friske in Michigan was arrested for chasing a stripper with a gun at 3 a.m. He says he was framed.

Speaking of Republicans and strippers, Lauren Boebert won her primary in Colorado. She couldn’t win in her own district so she moved to a new one.

South Carolina televangelist Mark Burns is running for Congress. He and Trump have been grifting buddies for 8 years even though Mark is black. He wants to execute public school teachers for treason.

Republican Congressman and insurrectionist Chip Roy from Texas wants to “ethnic cleanse” white progressives “with a special bonus for rich ones with an Ivy League degree” at the same time that Trump deports 20 million migrants.

Trump wants to start and own a migrant cage match fighting league so asylum seekers can beat each other up for MAGA entertainment and Trump profit.

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is free now after pleading guilty to violating the Espionage Act for his role in obtaining and publishing classified documents in 2010.

President Biden pardoned American veterans who were convicted of engaging in gay sex under a military code that outlawed the behavior for over 60 years. The proclamation grants clemency to around 2,000 people charged between 1951 and 2013.

Contrary to popular Republican phony belief, the US economy is the best in the world. It is even stabilizing the world economy. The stock market keeps breaking records. We have the best jobs record since the 60s. Crime is at 50 year lows. Corporate profits are at record highs. It’s not even a contest between Trump and Biden but here we are because of Republicans.

The first presidential debate of the season is tonight (unless Trump cancels like he did 4 years ago). It will be painful for smart people to watch. Trump’s debate strategy: Wing it.

Republican Lt Governor Geoff Duncan held a pre-debate press conference in Atlanta to endorse Joe Biden and say he’ll take the political consequences because the country can’t survive another 4 more years of Trump. He called out Republicans who are tired of making excuses for him and challenged them to do the right thing by voting for Biden in November.

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Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns. Read them all in quarterly reports in The Treason Chronicles on Kindle.