Republican Ruse

Spike Dolomite
4 min readAug 2, 2022

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The United States just killed the leader of al Qaeda, Ayman al-Zawahri, in an airstrike in Kabul, Afghanistan. He moved up as leader 11 years ago after the US killed Osama bin laden. He was the #2 guy and even more radical and cruel than bin Laden.

While the president was making the announcement that the military had taken out our #1 enemy and the FBI’s most wanted, vets were camped out on the Capitol steps protesting the Republicans playing games with their lives by blocking a healthcare bill (that they had already voted for in June) out of spite, denying vets the healthcare they desperately need as a result of the US military poisoning them with burn pits that gave them cancer and various chronic lung ailments. They fist bumped each other on the Senate floor, smug in their victory that they just stuck it to Democrats Chuck Schumer and Joe Manchin for successly resurrecting the Build Back Better bill. Unforgivable. One vet committed suicide after he heard what they did. He couldn’t take it anymore. His life and suffering, as all vets’ lives and suffering, was just a game to Republicans.

Republicans are pissed that the Democrats have so many wins after a year and a half. Chuck Schumer and Joe Manchin just wrote the biggest climate bill in history which reduces inflation (they’re calling it the Inflation Reduction Act now and and get it passed by buget reconciliation so it can’t be filibustered by the fuckheads), Nancy Pelosi passed a bipartisan gun bill (it’s weak but it’s better than nothing and it’s the first real legislation in two decades), VP Kamala Harris worked with state legislators on abortion (as a former attorney general and a liberal woman, she is the right person for that job). Joe Biden killed the head of al Qaeda, made corporations pay taxes, brought the country back from the Trump Plague with the Covid Rescue Plan, got a $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill passed, made history by bringing unemployment down to the lowest level ever after Trump took it to higher than during the Great Depression, passed a $52 billion package that invests in American made semiconductor computer chips so we’re not beholden to other countries, got the first African American woman, Ketanji Brown Jackson, seated on the Supreme Court and has nominated 73 federal judges to date (one was a lawyer who has argued to protect women’s right to choose), and put together the most diverse administration in history including a record number of women. Democrats have all of this to run on before the midterms in 98 days plus Republicans are all liars who are beholden to a depraved, fascist despot, want Christianity to be the state religion, have taken constitutional rights away from women, and are all part of Trump’s take down of democracy either by actively being part of the attempted coup or looking the other way.

The Democrats could run on Biden lowering gas prices too even though that’s not true. He isn’t any more responsible for prices going down than he is when they go up but Fox News viewers don’t know that. Cable news spent more than double the amount of time covering gas prices going up than they did when they were going down.

Lindsey Graham is fighting his Fulton County subpoena and has hired Trump’s former White House counsel Don McGahn to help him beat it.

There are primaries in 5 states today — Washington, Arizona, Missouri, Kansas, and Michigan. Most of the Republican candidates running should be unelectable because they are INSANE and make Marjorie Taylor Greene look sane. In Missouri, Trump endorsed Eric for Senate. Both candidates are named Eric and have accepted his endorsement. Kansans get to vote on a ballot measure protecting abortion as a constitutional amendment, “Value Them Both”. Republicans have worded it to trick people into voting against legal abortion. A NO vote would keep legislators in Kansas from doing what they did in Texas by outlawing abortion. VOTE NO. They are counting on a low turnout today so get your butts out there and vote NO on “Value Them Both” and vote for only Democrats up and down the ballot. Vote blue no matter who.

Trump’s legal team expects that he’ll be charged with federal crimes based upon what their sponsored lawyer spies are reporting back. Their strategy will be to throw his legal advisors under the bus. They’re going to say he got bad advice. And they’re going to try and trick jurors into believing that the Constitution is vague about what the vice president’s job is. It doesn’t exactly say he can’t not count the electoral votes.

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Spike Dolomite
Spike Dolomite

Written by Spike Dolomite

Daily Crime Report - recounts of Trump and the Republicans’ daily disasters, with puns.

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